


i place your hands around my neck

by fanfictiongreenirises



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Idiots in Love, Iron Family, James "Rhodey" Rhodes Needs a Hug, Multi, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Pining, Team as Family, because there aren't enough rhodey centric fics out there, rhodey centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:34:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15913011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfictiongreenirises/pseuds/fanfictiongreenirises
Summary: "Rhodey could practically feel his lungs getting heavier again, weighed down by roots of plants that he’d thought would never take hold in him again."Or: the one where Rhodey's been pining over Tony for much longer than either of them realised and develops the Hanahaki disease





	i place your hands around my neck

**Author's Note:**

> **Setting:** This fic ignores canon after Winter Soldier (Bucky is in this fic) and ignores Iron Man 3 because arc reactor.
> 
> This is the first Marvel fic I'm posting onto Ao3 so take it easy on me guys. I started writing this in like March this year and it was supposed to be a short 5+1 fic that was like a few thousand words and focused on Rhodey (beCausE THerE AreN'T EnoUGH RhodEY CentRiC FicS AiGHt), but then it became a sort of lets-dump-every-fucking-thing-into-this-fic-to-make-it-the-Ultimate-fic thing which is how the hanahaki storyline was born (i have so many versions of this stupid story on my laptop that each have a different direction that i changed because i was like ooh wait lets do xyz)
> 
> I wanna thank Lesty who read the numerous versions of this and brainstormed with me and edited and without whom this would be nowhere near ao3 <3
> 
> Hope you enjoy =)

It wasn’t something that hit Tony one day. It wasn’t a gaping hole in his life. It didn’t leave an emptiness that he couldn’t fill.

One day, he just looked beside him and realised that he didn’t expect Rhodey to be there anymore. 

And that sent waves of panic coursing down his spine.

 

* * *

 

“Wait wait wait—no. Put the blue stuff in _after_ —” Bruce broke off with a curse as the mixture bubbled and frothed, rising out of the beaker and spilling over the edge and onto the benchtop.

“Well, fuck,” Tony said, staring at it. “There goes that hypothesis.”

Bruce glared at him. “That should’ve worked. Why didn’t that—” He walked over to the nearest screen, chewing on his lip. “What’d we forget…” 

Tony didn’t answer. He was too busy gazing at the solution with a frown etched upon his brow, arms folded. “What if we were too hasty with the compou—what if…” And racing over to Bruce’s side, he scrapped everything on the screen, ignoring – or not seeing – how Bruce’s skin tinged green for a moment.

And then, standing back, he called, “JARVIS, hit play.”

A holographic image of the test tube appeared before them. This time, the mixture did exactly as they intended for it to do: collapse in on itself.

“This is fake,” Bruce muttered. “This is exactly what it showed last time.”

“Yup.” Tony popped the ‘p’ absentmindedly. “But this time, JARVIS factored in the additional data so it’s much more accurate. So now we give it a try?”

“Tony…” Bruce sighed, looking at him. “This is gonna take another ten hours. It’s already five in the morning.”

Tony shrugged. “It can be five in the evening if you want it to be. There are no windows here.”

“We’ve been down here for—” he shook his head, “I don’t even know how long. We need to be taking care of ourselves and actually following a decent sleep routine so we’re prepared if there’s a call. And I can’t be sleep deprived like that anymore, not like you can.” The Hulk went by as an unspoken understanding between them.

Tony ran a hand through his hair, pausing a moment to rethink his words before ploughing on. “Rhodey hasn’t called me yet. And before you ask,” he added, seeing Bruce open his mouth, “he’s right here in the city.”

“You call him. Maybe he’s just busy.”

“But he always calls when he gets back.” And apparently it irked Tony more than he’d thought it did.

“That’s precisely why you should call him first. Be the initiator for once.” Bruce glanced at his wrist and grimaced at the lack of watch. “Now c’mon. I need tea and you need to try this new blend I got.”

“Sir, Dr Richards is calling,” JARVIS informed them.

Tony let out a dramatic groan. “Tell him I’m asleep. I’m not awake enough to deal with his problems.”

Bruce snorted. “I’ll never understand your relationship.”

Honestly, if Tony were ever asked to explain it to someone, he doubted he’d be able to get past ‘it’s complicated’. He and Reed were…frenemies, to use a term he’d heard being thrown around by Peter and MJ, with the ‘enemy’ aspect of their friendship being mainly shit-talking. And even that was mostly on Tony’s part.

“He has not left a message.”

“Good – I never check them anyway.” He turned to Bruce. “Let’s try that tea of yours out while this baby brews.”

Their ride in the elevator was a study in how not to fall asleep, with the two of them standing in silence, a single yawn setting off a row that left Tony’s jaw aching slightly. It was probably a weekday (he hadn’t kept track of them for decades; he wasn’t going to start now) which meant that he could finish all that paperwork he needed to do for SI and then cram in—

“Dude, are you asleep? Wake up.” Bruce was suddenly shaking his shoulder, and Tony’s eyes snapped open. He didn’t even remember closing them, lost in creating his mental list.

“Awake, I’m awake. Quit it.” He batted away the arm, stepping out of the elevator and into the brightly lit room. The sun was still high in the sky and reflected off the whiteness of the walls in a way that made Tony’s eyes water.

“Too early for this,” he muttered, going over to sit by the counter as Bruce shuffled around, boiling water.

“Morning, Tony,” a voice sounded from behind him.

Eyes opened in slits, he looked around until he made eye contact with Steve. “It’s too early for morning. And too sunny.” It was a really nice day, actually. Once he let his eyes adjust to the light, he could see the scattered clouds dotting the bright blue sky. Normally, on a day like this, if Rhodey was home, they’d end up going to the park at some point. Rhodey’d developed an appreciation for the quiet, even if he wholeheartedly enjoyed explosions just as much as Tony did.

“You want tea?” Bruce called. “It’s this new brew I found. Haven’t tried it yet so I can’t promise you’ll like it.”

“Sure.” Steve sat himself down beside Tony. “Actually, the others told me to come get you two. We’re having a poker match.”

“I’m gonna need something stronger than tea if I’m playing poker with you lot,” Tony said. “Bruce, can you mix coffee in with it?”

The look he received was worth everything.

He didn’t end up calling Rhodey that day.

 

* * *

 

Rhodey saw it coming a mile away. Tony was clingy to those he trusted, to the point of snooping around on their computer to check their whereabouts and going to _meet_ them there unannounced. It was just part of his quirks that Rhodey couldn’t say he particularly minded.

Just as long as Tony wasn’t crashing his dates. Or, his metaphoric dates, seeing how Rhodey hadn’t seriously dated anyone since MIT.

But he was used to Tony showing up out of the blue when Rhodey wasn’t away, or being able to fly to Tony whenever he had leave. Literally – he always had the excuse of using the armour to fly to him for upgrades. 

Tony, for as long as Rhodey’d known him – which was pretty fucking long – hadn’t had many people backing his play. Tony had clung to him with an iron grip, and Rhodey had clung back, because you don’t let friends like that go.

It wasn’t as though Rhodey’s childhood had been chock full of friends, either.

But now it was like Tony was slowly slipping away and Rhodey was the one grasping at thin air, trying to bring back his best friend.

Even though situations were so incredibly different now (and wasn’t that just the problem?), Rhodey’s mind kept telling him it was the twentieth century again, the two of them in MIT. Neither of them had managed to outgrow entirely their idiosyncratic insecurities in their college days, with adulthood being the cement that made them see the solidness of their relationship.

But now it felt like they were back to where they’d been thirty odd years ago and Rhodey could practically feel his lungs getting heavier again, weighed down by roots of plants that he’d thought would never take hold in him again.

 

* * *

 

“Rhodey, honeybear, cupcake, snookums,” Tony rambled, “you will not _believe_ what I have for you.”

Rhodey snorted. “Last time you said that, you installed those rollerblades in your armour.”

Tony glared at him. “Hey, that armour was a goddamn masterpiece. The pinnacle of my engineering skills. The…” 

Rhodey let his voice drift into the background as he walked further into the workshop, noting everything that was different. Over the years, it’d become a sort of way for him to anchor himself back into this world; Tony’s workshop was always changing, but the core of it remained the same.

He walked over to the charging station, where U and Dum-E were. He absentmindedly rubbed his hand over their strut, smiling when they emitted chirpy noises.

“—you’re not even listening to me, are you?”

Rhodey jerked out of his thoughts, head snapping up to make eye contact with Tony. Tony stood across the room, staring at him with a bemused expression. Rhodey shrugged. “I missed the bots.” 

“They missed you too – no one else would play table tennis with them. Although Steve did start teaching them this weird combination of hockey and soccer…” Tony waved a hand. “C’mon, I gotta show you the specs for this thing.”

The War Machine armour was positioned beside Tony’s current Iron Man model. Rhodey made his way to Tony, propping himself up onto a benchtop and swinging his legs so they occasionally nudged his friend.

“So it’s kinda like a camel,” Rhodey mused after listening to Tony’s explanation. “That’s pretty fucking cool.”

“I know.” Tony grinned at him, face open and happy, and for a moment all Rhodey could focus on were how light his eyes were with the blue of the holograms reflecting into them, and how—

“Sir, Captain Rogers wishes me to remind you about your sparring session with him in ten minutes,” JARVIS’ voice rang out.

Rhodey’s mind immediately bolted from whatever direction it’d been heading towards. His chest felt tight again, and he rubbed at it absentmindedly. “Sparring, huh?” he asked. “You moving on from boxing?”

“Thought I should be better prepared in case I don’t have the suit on me,” Tony said, “and Steve was offering, so…” He shrugged.

There was something strangely defensive about the way Tony said it, as though he was answering a question different to the one Rhodey has asked, but Rhodey couldn’t for the life of him figure out why. The fact that Rhodey had been bugging Tony to get more hand-to-hand training under his belt for the better part of decade hung between them, unspoken. There was a moment’s silence, Rhodey awkwardly still swinging his legs, and Tony staring determinedly at the holograms in front of them.

Finally, Tony cleared his throat. “I should go—Steve doesn’t like to be kept waiting. Unless I cancel. But then he’ll come hunt me down to ask why—which is probably my fault—this one time I—anyway, I’ll just…you’re gonna be here for another week, though, right? I’ll be back in a few hours—”

“Tony, it’s fine,” Rhodey forced a smile at him. “Go do your thing with Rogers. We still got plenty of time.”

Tony looked relieved as he scampered out of the lab, and Rhodey felt the ache in his chest increase fractionally. Sighing, he turned to the bots. “Who’s up for a round?”

 

* * *

 

“What even is this?” Tony asked suspiciously, poking his fork at the pile of reddish _flesh_ on his plate.

“Dunno,” Rhodey said. “I just pointed to a bunch of stuff.”

Tony stared at him. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

Rhodey shrugged. “Wanted to be surprised by something other than ambushes.” And immediately looked as though he regretted saying it, if the forced smile on his face was any indication. Tony frowned inwardly; when had Rhodey started picking up his bad habits?

That wasn’t the only surprise to Tony; Rhodey had always acted like there was a barrier between his line of work and his relationship with Tony, even though there really wasn’t. By the time Tony had realised just how much Rhodey was avoiding talking about with him, it’d become so ingrained in both of them that it’d practically become an unspoken rule, no matter how shitty it made him feel. Hell, he never even asked Rhodey about his missions, automatically snooping through files to find out his whereabouts and purpose.

Rhodey had gone undercover one time for god-knows-what and he’d only found out a month after when Rhodey had casually mentioned it as a funny anecdote.

So all he said was, “It looks like octopus.”

“Isn’t octopus more…chewy? This is like eating fish made out of cake.”

“Maybe it is cake. Maybe you ordered from the desserts first. What language is the menu even in?”

They both simultaneously turned to look at the menu that lay on the table beside theirs, Tony squinting slightly to try and make out the writing.

“My eyesight’s getting worse,” Rhodey grumbled. “I’m aging. Can you believe it?”

Tony snorted. “Yeah, you’ve got grey hairs. Or, you would if you didn’t shave it all off. You probably shave it _because_ you have grey hairs.”

“Yeah, Tony,” Rhodey deadpanned. “I shaved it off in college because I had grey hairs in my twenties.”

“Could happen,” Tony said, around a mouthful of whatever Rhodey had ordered. “Maybe you have really shitty genes on your dad’s side.” Because Roberta still looked like she was in her thirties, so it obviously wasn’t her.

“Speaking of my family,” Rhodey cleared his throat, “you should come this weekend with me. Mum and Jeannette’ve been bugging me about not seeing you in ages.” 

Tony smiled wistfully. The Rhodes’ were basically his second family, had been since he’d befriended Rhodey. And everything in him wanted to go, but… 

“I can’t,” he said regretfully. “Bruce and I are working on that thing I was telling you about with the nanites and I can’t skip out on him for a whole weekend. It’s time sensitive.”

Rhodey nodded, looking back down at him plate. “That’s cool. I’ll tell ‘em you couldn’t make it.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey, Pep.” Tony leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. He then handed her the bouquet of white roses he’d held behind him as he’d walked into her office. “These are for you. I even got you a vase.”

“Thank you, Tony.” Pepper smiled at him, eyes squinting suspiciously. “What’re they for?”

He placed the clear cylindric vase on her desk, grabbed the jug of water behind her and emptying it into it. “Can’t I just get you flowers?”

Just as he was about to place the roses in, Pepper spoke up. “Ooh, hold on!”

She quickly walked over to her bag, emptying it of its contents as she fiddled with it. Tony’s eyebrows rose as she removed an entire hairdryer from it, but didn’t comment as she took out a small purple bottle. Squeezing a few drops into the water, she grinned at him. 

“You’re such a nerd,” he said fondly. “I can’t believe I hunted down white roses to match your shoes just for you to turn them purple.”

“I keep forgetting to take out the food dye when I get home; might as well use it somewhere.”

“Fair enough.”

They watched the flowers in silence, despite knowing they wouldn’t begin changing colour for some time.

“So, what’re the roses for?” Pepper asked softly, not wanting to disturb the tranquillity of the moment.

Tony looked up at her. “Reed wants help with something, so I figured I might as well give you these in advance. Knowing him, he’s probably going to unleash some prehistoric creature onto the city.”

Pepper let out a laugh. “I hate to admit it, but that’s possible. But you better not egg him on,” she added, her voice suddenly becoming sharper. “You know how that ends up.”

“Who do you take me for?” Tony said dismissively. “I don’t want to make a mess as much as you, but sometimes interdimensional portals just happen.”

Pepper snorted. “Rhodey called,” she said in lieu of an answer. “Wanted to see if we were still up for Board Game Night at his place.”

“Oh shit. When’s that, again?” 

Pepper gave him a long look. “Tonight.”

“I’ll be there,” Tony said immediately. “Even if I have to defeat prehistoric creatures to get to Rhodey’s place.”

“You better be,” Pepper said. There was something in her tone that Tony couldn’t quite suss out, so he filed it away for a later time.

 

* * *

 

Rhodey stormed into the Tower in full War Machine getup, not even flipping up the faceplate. He was absolutely seething over a layer of hurt, but the anger coursing through his veins did a very good job of keeping that under check.

“JARVIS?” he asked, knowing the AI would understand his question.

“He is in his bedroom, Master Rhodes. His vitals are stable, and he is resting,” JARVIS responded instantly, and Rhodey felt his heartrate begin to calm down.

But that did nothing to assuage the confusion.

He left the armour outside Tony’s door, not wishing to track the dirt and grime on it inside.

Right before he opened the door, he paused. Because maybe there was a reason he hadn’t been notified. Maybe Tony didn’t want him there— 

He immediately shook the idea from his head. Tony had been happy with his company and presence for the last three decades, and just because he’d now acquired a new group of friends didn’t mean he suddenly didn’t want Rhodey there. They’d probably just forgotten.

Taking a deep breath, Rhodey opened the door and walked in. Tony’s room was dark with the slightest of light coming in through the tinted windows. The armchair that was usually by the small table in the corner was now next to Tony’s bed, and Rhodey went over and sat down in it before turning his gaze to his friend.

Tony was lying on his back on one side of the bed – the first sign that he’d been placed in there: Tony always sprawled right in the centre just because he could – and the covers were drawn up to his chest, leaving part of the arc reactor visible. Rhodey could see the top half of bandages wrapped around his torso, and fought the urge to check him over himself. Instead, he held Tony’s hand between both of his, marvelling at the warmth and _life_ it gave off.

Just as he sat back in the chair and settled in for a long night of sitting vigil, Tony stirred. He went to turn around to lie on his side, but then grimaced, eyes slowly opening as the wound pulled.

“Easy,” Rhodey said softly. “Try not to move.”

His ‘sleeping baby’ voice, as Jeannette had dubbed it, was coming in full force.

Tony blinked up at him, and then frowned in confusion. “Rhodey?” he asked hoarsely. “What’re you doing here?”

And then Rhodey’s anger return in its entirety, and he squashed down the urge to scream at Tony that he wouldn’t’ve been had it not been for Pepper and JARVIS, and honestly didn’t the Avengers know to inform him when Tony went down in a battle hard enough to warrant a two-day stay at the hospital?

But instead of yelling, he simply said, “I was in the area,” and left it at that. Tony didn’t need to know he’d been on the other side of the country. His grip on Tony’s hand tightened, but he wouldn’t remove it unless Tony was visibly uncomfortable. He needed the contact, even if his friend didn’t.

“Oh.” Tony still looked confused, but that may have just been from waking up. “Where’s Steve?”

“Dunno. Didn’t run into anyone on my way here.” That was probably because he’d flown in using the entrance for the armour rather than any actual doors, but facts were facts.

“That’s probably a good thing. Steve was giving me his patriotic glare of righteous anger the entire night he spent at the hospital,” Tony commented. “Probably had to go take a break from guarding my ass. Must be tiring channelling so much America.”

So they hadn’t called him because they didn’t need him. That was…comforting. Rhodey stayed quiet, just drinking in the sight of a live and talking Tony, no matter how battered.

“Tony?” a voice sounded from the doorway, and Steve Rogers’ head popped in. “Is that Colonel Rhodes with you…?”

“Yup.” Tony tried pushing himself up to a sitting position, but Rhodey gently made him stay horizontal. “How’d you know? Are you secretly psychic too? Because these walls are soundproof—unless you could _smell_ him, which I totally understand. Rhodey has a ver—”

“The armour’s outside your door,” Steve interrupted, giving Tony a soft look that sent a wave of… something… down Rhodey’s spine. It was a sort of dread he’d never felt around anyone before. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

He gently closed the door, leaving silence behind him.

Rhodey turned to Tony. “What happened?” he asked. He knew the basics from Pepper, but it was always an experience hearing it from Tony’s perspective. Besides, he hadn’t seen his friend in months.

“The usual,” Tony said. “There was a pretentious villain, with some weird name – what is it with villains and names, lately? If I were a villain, I’d have a cool name, like…” He frowned, eyebrows furrowing. He obviously had some sort of painkillers in his system, judging by the wide variety of facial expressions he’d used in the last few seconds alone. Tony was expressive, but frowning like that took _effort_.

(And the rambling. Rhodey missed the rambling from early mornings in a cramped dorm room before coffee). 

“If I were a villain,” Rhodey said thoughtfully, playing with Tony’s fingers. (He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of staring at his fingers.) “I’d keep ‘War Machine’, because my name’s so badass it can double for a villain.”

Tony was staring at their hands with a peculiar expression on his face, but he retorted to Rhodey like he normally would, so Rhodey didn’t stop.

 

* * *

 

Music thrummed in Tony’s body as he walked from one clumped group to another, taking pride in the wide grins on faces. He could feel the beat in his bones, the floor vibrating under his feet as he made his way around the room.

Thor gesticulated wildly with his arm, nearly taking Tony’s head off as he walked by.

“Shit, man,” he said, almost shouting to be heard. “Spatial awareness exists outside battlefields!”

“Sorry, my friend!” Thor replied, thumping him on his back. He’d recently gotten the pressure for shoulder pats right, so Tony didn’t stumble embarrassingly at the impact. “I did not see you behind me!”

“Everything’s good, as long as I can have a sip of that,” he nodded to the casket beside Thor.

Thor let out a booming laugh. “Your Midgardian body could not handle it. As it is, the Captain’s body can only take a certain amount.”

Tony looked around, spotting Steve across the room chatting to Sam. “How much has he had?” He and Bruce had had numerous late-night discussions on anaesthetics for Steve that had evolved into how to get Steve drunk. If they could get their hands on some of the Asgardian brew…

“Only a sip,” Thor informed him. “He said he did not wish to become intoxicated.” 

Tony could understand that. He opened his mouth, about to ask Thor for a sample of the mead (for scientific purposes), when he spotted Rhodey walking in. “I see Rhodey,” he said to Thor quickly before making a dash through the throngs of people.

“Rhodes!” he called, smiling widely at his friend.

Rhodey turned to him, face mirroring Tony’s expression as he embraced him. “Hey, man. Nice party. Really killing my old man ears.”

Tony shoved him lightly. “Like your old man ears aren’t being treated horribly already with that trashy music taste of yours.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. “Says you.”

Neither were willing to admit they had similar taste in music.

Tony led them to the food, because his stomach had started making demands a while ago. He grabbed a plateful of the bite-sized cucumber sandwiches as well as a handful of Doritos – nothing beat a nice, crunchy, Dorito sandwich –  and was about to say something to Rhodey when he felt someone’s gaze on him.

Glancing around, he saw Steve’s eyes looking quizzically at the concoction on his plate. Tony grinned to himself. It was always a pleasure introducing Steve to the lesser known joys of the twenty-first century. He made his way over to the couch Steve was seated at, positioning his body sideways so the plate of food was between them.

“Like what you’re looking at?” he asked, resting an elbow on the headrest.

“Dunno.” With that, Steve plucked one of the sandwiches off the plate and into his mouth, fitting the whole thing in when he realised there was no way to eat it without getting crumbs everywhere.

Tony watched in slight shock as Steve’s face ballooned – who knew Steve could have an unattractive look? – with the food, waiting for him to finish before commenting, knowing Steve had few qualms with speaking with his mouth full. In the meantime, he sated his own appetite.

Steve finally swallowed and looked at Tony thoughtfully. “Not bad. At least, not as bad as it looked. Or sounded.” After another pause, he added, “I think I liked it.”

“Thank god,” Tony said solemnly. “If you hadn’t liked it, I would’ve had to seriously consider kicking you off the team. And out of the Tower. Out of my life. Out of—”

“The century?” Steve raised an eyebrow teasingly. “Would you kick me another seventy years into the future just so you wouldn’t have to deal with decent taste buds challenging your ruined ones?” 

“I take offence to that! I’ll have you know these—” Tony stuck his tongue out and pointed at it, “—were cultivated through years of good cooking. Rhodey and I lived off these in MIT till he learned how to cook.”

Steve snorted. “You say that about everything,” he said around another mouthful of food.

“You got some Dorito on you…no, bit to the left…here.” Tony reached out and dabbed at Steve’s face. “And it takes a lot of food to survive college!”

“Can’t believe you ditched me in the middle of this crowd,” Rhodey suddenly said from behind Tony. 

“Shit, sorry, Rhodey.” Guilt settled into Tony’s face. “I got Steve to try the Dorito sandwich, though.”

Rhodey’s face spasmed weirdly, and Tony cocked his head to the side slightly, trying to decipher it. “Thoughts?” Rhodey asked Steve, lips straining into a smile.

“Better than I expected,” Steve said good-naturedly. He and Rhodey were friendly – not quite friends yet, but give it time. Tony was determined to make it happen. He just couldn’t seem to get all their schedules to match up often, and sue him if he occasionally wanted Rhodey all to himself.

Rhodey gave a nod in return, eyes wandering awkwardly from Steve to Tony and back again.

“So,” Tony said loudly in the hopes of getting a conversation going. “Do you guys have plans for tomorrow? Steve, I _know_ you don’t have plans for tomorrow.” He winked at him, knowing full well that the reason Steve was, for once in his life, entirely free for the rest of the week, was because Fury and Hill were on some ‘top secret’ and ‘highly classified’ mission that had cancelled everything SHIELD-related in Steve’s calendar.

Turning to Rhodey, he asked, “What about you, honeybear?” In his head he was already calculating their day. Rhodey would be staying the night, of course, so they could start right after breakfast and maybe go to the park without Steve, because goddammit, he didn’t get enough time with Rhodey and he didn’t know how he felt about bringing Steve – or anyone, really – with them to the park, when it was such a _them_ thing— 

“I don’t think I can tomorrow, Tones.” Rhodey’s voice was apologetic, but he wouldn’t meet Tony’s eyes.

Tony frowned, mind screeching to a halt. Something was definitely wrong. “You sure? I thought you said you were free for the rest of your break.”

“I made plans for tomorrow,” Rhodey told him. He brought the plastic cup to his face, tilting his head back to take one last sip. Tony watched his throat work, calculating distantly everything he’d done in the last six months. Everything had been fine until tonight. Was it the party, maybe? Did Rhodey not like Steve?

“That’s fine,” he said. “We can reschedule for some other time.”

Rhodey gave him the fakest smile he’d ever seen on his friend’s face. “Yeah, okay,” he said. And then he stood up. “Refill,” he explained, gesturing at the cup.

Tony watched him walk away, a niggling filling his chest that had nothing to do with the arc reactor.

“If you’re free tomorrow,” Steve said slowly from beside him, “you could come with me to this art exhibition. I was gonna bring Bucky, but he bailed on me at the last minute.” He looked at Tony through his lashes. “Besides, you appreciate art more than he does.”

“Rogers, don’t take this the wrong way, but last time someone looked at me like that I got laid.” At this point in their friendship, with the mutual flirty banter between them, Tony knew a comment like that couldn’t hurt a thing.

Steve didn’t break eye contact. “I have a deep appreciation of art.” He looked at Tony in a way that sent heat rushing into his body, all thoughts of _something wrong with Rhodey_ going to the back of his brain.

“You sure about this?” he asked Steve. “It’d be no strings attached – I see how you look at Barnes.”

Steve flushed. “What do you mean?”

“Save it for the blind, Cap.” He got up, plate discarded on the table in front of them, and tugged Steve’s collar to get him to follow. He still had the pent-up energy from the amount of sugar and coffee he’d consumed, and a beat like this meant it’d take hours for him to feel tired.

Steve followed easily, and Tony let go of his shirt to grab his wrist. The crowds meant that their linked hands weren’t the most visible, and even if people spotted them, what did it really matter? They were among friends, people who didn’t see Tony sleeping with Steve as Tony Stark corrupting Captain America.

But Tony still needed to double check. “You sure about this?” he asked Steve, wiggling his hand a little.

Steve glanced down at where Tony’s fingers were wrapped around his wrist, and then at the crowds Tony was indicating with a jerk of his head. “Yes.”

“Okay then.” And with that, Tony led them out of the door and into the hallway. He didn’t particularly care whose room they were headed towards, but from what he could recall – which wasn’t very much, with Steve’s hot mouth on his neck – they were a floor away from Steve’s and three away from Tony’s. 

“Yours or mine?” he gasped as his back hit the wall of the elevator. Hands reached under his shirt and he twisted his arms behind Steve’s neck to make it easier for him to undo the buttons.

“Wherever.” It seemed that Steve was incapable of more than a one-word response. Tony felt a smug smile spread across his face. 

“Mine it is, then.”

 

* * *

 

Rhodey woke up and immediately regretted every ounce of his existence. He’d ended up staying the night at Tony’s place, in the bedroom Tony had dubbed as his when he’d started building the Tower, and it’d seemed like a good idea the night before, when it’d seemed impossible to dredge up the energy to call a cab to take him to his apartment.

But now that he was here, in a suite across from Tony’s, it felt like a massive mistake. He really should’ve gotten drunk, he contemplated as he got out of bed. Then he would’ve had a legitimate reason for crashing in his friend’s place once again, but this time for absolutely no reason other than the memories of the room.

He and Tony didn’t spend much time here – hell, it was barely lived in, seeing how Rhodey only used the place to crash occasionally – but Tony had made him decorate it with him.

Rhodey could picture him now, a good few grey hairs younger, with less laugh lines and scars. It’d been a sunnier day than today seemed to be, and there’d been light streaming in through the massive glass wall – because “who the fuck puts windows this high up?” according to Tony – and he’d been sitting on the floor with playing with a hammer watching his friend mark the walls with a pencil so they could get drilling.

They’d done the same thing with the rooms Tony had made for Pepper and Happy, but those ones were done with all four of them (causing more mayhem than actual productivity, but no one had cared).

This room? This room was just them.

Sighing, Rhodey ran a hand over his face, willing the day to be better than the previous had been. Looking up at the clock on the wall (War Machine themed, which Tony had gotten him at some point while he’d been on a tour) he got up and put on his comfy jeans. He’d told Tony he was busy today, which was mostly a lie that he could work into a truth, but not if he saw him this early.

Walking into the kitchen, he turned on the coffee machine and peered into the fridge to see if there was still some yoghurt. 

“Hey, J?” he asked quietly, not wanting to alert Tony to his presence. “Is there anything edible in this place?” JARVIS knew what he liked.

“There should be a new container of yoghurt in the top left corner, Master Rhodes, and Sir had fresh fruit stocked up recently,” JARVIS told him. “There is also orange juice in the second cupboard, and milk is in the refrigerator.”

“Thanks, man.” Maybe he should take Tony up on his offer to install JARVIS in his apartment. But he already had the AI in his phone, so there would be little point…

There was the sound of an opening door, and Rhodey winced, frantically readying his cover story for the day. It didn’t help that it was already an hour past his usual waking time, but maybe Tony would assume his appointment was later.

“Morning, Colonel.”

Steve’s voice simultaneously sent relief and shock coursing through Rhodey. “Morning, Rogers,” he replied automatically, mind racing to process this new information.

Steve had obviously spent the night, judging by how he was wrapped up in one of Tony’s guest robes. That, and fading bruise on his neck that Rhodey knew had come from a hickey.

He swallowed, unwilling to let his emotions show on his face.

“Please, call me Steve.”

“Sure, Steve. Call me…well, anything, really. I got a whole list of names. Did you want breakfast?” Never let it be said that Roberta Rhodes had raised a rude boy. “There’s coffee.”

“I just came for water,” Steve replied, grabbing himself a glass.

Just how long had this been happening? Rhodey looked at the familiarity at which Steve moved around in Tony’s place, and felt his heart sink. Everything made sense now, and he wanted to cry. He needed to get out of here.

Shovelling the last of the yoghurt into his mouth and stifling the sudden urge to cough, he jumped up from his seat at the counter. He should get back to his place. He should get himself a life. 

Saying a quick farewell to Steve, who looked at him in slight confusion, he made a quick stop to his room to grab the necessities before bolting. It definitely didn’t help that Captain America had been one of those figures in Rhodey’s (and Tony’s, but that was a whole different story that required a therapist in the room) childhood that he’d hero-worshipped to death. But since working with Steve Rogers on battlefields and seeing him after he’d just had sex with his best friend… it changed things. 

Prioritising speed over watching where he was going, Rhodey didn’t notice Barnes until it was much too late, and hit the metal arm with the side of his body as he attempted to move out of the way.

“Fuck, sorry, man.” He rubbed his arm where it’d impacted with the prosthetic.

“No harm,” Barnes said in that low tone of his. He rarely raised his voice, content to take a backseat role in life. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just distracted.” He attempted at a smile, but it probably came out as a grimace.

Barnes scrutinised him. “Is it your thing for Stark?”

Barnes was blunt, Rhodey’d give him that. Also very perceptive. “What thing?” he asked. How many people knew about his thing for Tony? And how many people knew about Tony and Steve? Rhodey wanted to disappear back into bed. This day was already going horribly and he hadn’t even been awake an hour.

Barnes waved a hand. “Your romantic crush slash love thing for him.”

Rhodey folded his arms and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have a thing for Tony. And even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. I just watched Rogers walk out of his bedroom with a hickey on his neck.”

Barnes’ expression changed ever so slightly, and he remained silent before finally saying. “Well.”

Rhodey frowned. “You didn’t know about it?" 

“Nope.”

He sighed. “It could be a one-night sorta thing.” He didn’t know why he was suddenly reassuring Barnes, but it was pretty obvious that the man had his own ‘thing’ for Steve.

“I dunno, Rhodes. Steve doesn’t seem to be the type for one-night stands.” Barnes shrugged.

He looked just like Rhodey felt. “Hey, you doing anything today?” Rhodey asked on a whim. Barnes looked at him curiously and he ploughed on. “I told Tony I was busy when he tried to get me to hang with Steve, and now I got nothing to do all day.”

 

* * *

 

Barnes became Bucky within the span of five hours, and if knew why Rhodey coughed too hard in the middle of a sentence, he didn’t comment.

 

* * *

 

“Pep, Rhodey isn’t answering any of my calls. Again. He left before I got up.” Tony frowned at Pepper as she continued to type, chipped nails against the keyboard making little sound.

He’d always liked her hands: perfectly manicured when they needed to be, but usually with the nails clipped short and with hints of nail-polish here and there. He’d never actually seen them painted perfectly (when she did it herself, not when she got them done with fake nails) – Pepper had this bad habit of picking at the polish when she was stressed.

Finally, after a few more taps here and there, Pepper looked at Tony over the rim of her glasses that most people didn’t know she wore. She gazed at him judgingly for a moment, during which he tried not to squirm under the weight of her stare, before she said, “I set him up on a date.”

“You wha—a _date_?” Tony didn’t know why the idea seemed so preposterous. Surely Rhodey had dated a number of times since they’d met. But right now the concept was entirely foreign to him.

“Yes, Tony, a date,” Pepper said calmly. “Something two or more people go on to see if their romantic interests are something they can pursue.” 

“ _With who_? Rhodey has romantic interests?”

“Rhodey knows her through work, and she happens to be a friend of a friend of mine.”

Tony’s heart was beating faster and faster as it continued to sink. “Who is she?” At Pepper’s look, he waved a hand impatiently. “Background check, c’mon, Pep. What if she’s actually evil.”

“I already ran one,” Pepper told him, “but her name is Carol Danvers.”

Carol. That was a…nice name. She’d probably make a nice girlfriend, partner, fiancé, wife… She’d probably be stable, and healthy, and not a borderline alcoholic with terrible coping mechanisms. She’d probably be able to protect Rhodey in the field, if his inventions failed. She’d be able to do the whole kids thing, if Rhodey was into that…

Tony jerked his head, coming out of his thoughts with a start. Where had that even come from? He’d never pictured Rhodey with a family, though god knew he had plenty of opportunities to do so, starting with the holidays he’d spent with Rhodey’s family, surrounded by his nieces and nephews and all the extended family.

He and Rhodey had both babysat them for their parents, and _this_ was the first time the idea of Rhodey with children was coming to him?

“…know what you’re thinking, and no, you cannot crash his date again,” Pepper was saying. “He specifically asked me to set him up with someone and I’m not going to let you ruin this for him.”

Tony swallowed hard, nodding. “Wasn’t going to,” he murmured. “I’ll go to his place tonight—or maybe in the morning, in case he brings her over.”

Pepper gave him a smile. “That’s the logical side of you I don’t see enough to know but love.”

Tony stuck his tongue out at her on pure instinct, and she laughed.

“Now shoo, I have all this paperwork to do.”

“You’re still coming to pizza night, right?”

“‘Course.”

 

* * *

 

Rhodey was actually humming to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea late in the morning. The clock showed ten, but he hadn’t been awake long enough for his body to register that.

The previous night had been…enlightening. He had, on a desperate whim, called up Pepper, probably scaring her slightly. But he didn’t regret the events leading to her telling him that her friend “Carol and I were planning on going to see this movie tonight, but I’m going to tell her that you’re going in my place because of how overwhelmed I am with all this paperwork”.

He had no doubt that she had told Carol a whole lot more than that, seeing how Carol treated him the whole night, bringing up Tony only once before changing the topic with a knowing glint in her eyes.

Just as he settled down in front of the TV, a children’s cartoon playing, there was a rapid knock at the door. Rhodey got up to answer it, knowing exactly who it’d be.

“Tony,” he said, taking a sip. He awarded himself badassery points for this, because the sip, combined with the robe he was wearing? Power move.

“Jim.” Tony crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe, basically ensuring Rhodey wouldn’t close the door in his face. So they were using first names now? Rhodey could count on one hand the number of times Tony had called him by his given name. “I hear you had a hot date last night.”

He took off the shades, hanging them on the neck of his shirt. He now looked more like the friend Rhodey might invite over for dinner, not the billionaire who was gracing the building with his presence.

“Pepper said that?” Hot date was so far from what he’d been on, but he was still the slightest bit angry with his friend for sleeping with Captain America. And _goddamnit_ Pepper. She definitely had a motive here, because she’d never told Tony about any of Rhodey’s whimsical dates before, and they’d _actually_ been dates.

“Yup,” Tony said, popping the ‘p’. “So I did a little digging on this Carol Danvers. How come you never told me about her?” His eyes were searching even while his face remained open and relaxed. 

Rhodey shrugged, taking a sip to stifle a cough. “You never asked.” And honestly, Carol was one of those people he would mention to Tony without ever using her name. ‘ _My friend did this_ ’ and _‘my friend did that’_ and ‘ _my friend went missing and may also have superpowers’_ had it covered. Not that he’d ever said that last one aloud. “She’s a friend from work, so I probably mentioned her at some point; you just don’t remember.”

Something akin to hurt flickered on Tony’s face and he chewed his lip, but it was gone before Rhodey could pinpoint the emotion in his eyes. He was probably imagining it – Tony had never worried about not paying enough attention to Rhodey and his military friends before.

Until now, that information had never stung quite so much.

Tony nodded, face going sombre for a moment. “So it’s serious?”

“Dunno, Tones. It’s just easy to talk to people you work with sometimes, you know?” Was this a dig at his relationship with Cap? Hell yes it was.

Tony made a sound of agreement. He then paused, looking at Rhodey for a moment, calculating, before saying, “I slept with Cap.” His eyes didn’t quite make contact with Rhodey’s, seeming to look right through him. So they were kissing and telling, then.

Rhodey hadn’t realised until now that he’d held out the faintest hope that maybe there was a perfectly reasonable reason for Rogers to have been in Tony’s kitchen that morning, but now it was gone. Something festered deep inside his stomach, and the voice that spoke out the next words was barely his own. “Congrats. That’s like your teenage dream come true, isn’t it?”

“Pretty much, only so much better. Cap’s different to, you know, _Captain America_.” Tony shrugged nonchalantly, rolling his eyes slightly. He was now staring at Rhodey, eyes hard.

“Well, I don’t blame you – he is the definition of perfect.” The American dream was modelled on the back of Captain America, who, in all honesty, was basically Rogers. The man could claim to not be the same as the icon, but they were remarkably similar. People just had the wrong idea about the Captain. Rhodey was apparently now one of those people.

Tony was quiet for a moment before locking his eyes on Rhodey with steel force. “Oh yeah, he definitely is, if you know what I mean…” And then he winked. It wasn’t even his best attempt at a natural wink – Rhodey, after all these years, could tell instantly it was one of his press faces. “Although I suppose it was the same for you with… Carlotta? Love does strange things to sex.”

“Carol,” Rhodey correctly distantly. _Love?_ When had that come into play? He had thought this was just a one-night stand for Tony. He could feel the anger rapidly shifting into despair and he fought to hold on. He didn’t think he could get through this conversation without it. (And he’d quickly learnt that despair brought about the coughing fits more so than anger, and he’d be damned if Tony saw him in that state. Not now. Not like this, when Carol was a facade Rhodey was clinging onto.) “And she earned her place there.” He barely refrained from adding _unlike your boy_.

And now it was Tony who looked taken aback, the shock breaking through the cool exterior at Rhodey’s words. His face had grown white, and he clenched his jaw tightly. “So looks like we both got lucky,” he said quietly.

Rhodey now had absolutely no idea what was going on. He could feel the tension between the two of them, the weight of everything they were leaving unspoken like an anchor bringing down their relationship, and he had no idea what to do now, because he was still too furious to fix this mess.

“Guess so,” he responded shortly.

Tony gave him a smile that didn’t belong in Rhodey’s apartment, sliding on sunglasses that been hanging on the neck of his shirt. “Anyhoo, I’m very busy man. Got shit to invent, Avengers to take care of, company to please… I’ll be outta your non-existent hair now.”

Rhodey didn’t say anything, watching Tony leave until he finally closed the door.

He threw the mug at the wall, revelling at the loud crash as it shattered.

 

* * *

 

_“Hey, Tony. Just letting you know I’m headed back to base. I know it’s a little early, but they called and I’ve already seen Mum and the rest, and you guys, so I figured might as well head off. I’ll talk to you soon.”_

Tony frowned as the recording stopped. “That’s it?” He ignored the little beeps the bots in the corner made at the sound of Rhodey’s voice.

“Yes, sir,” JARVIS answered.

Tony ran a hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated growl. “And he left last night?” It was two days since he’d gone to Rhodey’s apartment to speak to him, and that was the last time he’d seen him. “ _Why would he do that?_ ”

“If I may, sir, I believe Master Rhodes was feeling just as strongly about your last conversation with him as you.” Tony had installed JARVIS in all his favourite sunglasses – you never know when you’re watching a crime scene – and it had the additional bonus of JARVIS being active constantly.

“But…” Tony broke off, letting out an aggravated breath. “I won’t see him for like another three months.”

“There is always the phone, sir. I suggest you call him and talk out your differences.”

Tony had absolutely no idea what he could say to Rhodey now that would fix things. He had no idea where they went wrong, and he couldn’t even blame this Carol he’d never met. “Hey, J, did Rhodey ever mention a Carol Danvers?”

“Master Rhodes spoke of her directly twice and may have referenced her on twenty-six occasions.”

Tony buried his face in his hands, leaning over the workbench. He breathed in deeply a few times before straightening, eyes rimmed red. “Okay, pull up the schematics for the new body armour.”

 

* * *

 

“This is Rhodes,” Rhodey said into the phone, breathing slightly hard. He’d just come from a training exercise with a group of their newer recruits, and it’d served to remind him just how much older he’d gotten.

“James _, what the fuck happened?”_ Rhodey held the phone away from his ear, wincing at the high-pitched screeching from the other end.

“Pep?” He wasn’t often confused by Pepper’s accusations.

“ _What did you do to make Tony think you’re practically engaged to Carol_?” 

Rhodey rubbed a hand over his throat, trying to soothe the itchiness. The few days he’d been back at base had definitely given him more perspective on things, but only enough to make him feel slightly ashamed of how petty he’d been. “You’re the one who told him we were on a ‘hot date’.”

“I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to run with it! You will _fix this!_ Now! And what’s all this about going back before you said goodbye to us in person—don’t think I’m letting you off the hook for that stupid voicemail I got!”

“He’s sleeping with Rogers!” Rhodey didn’t care who was around to hear; they were in an office, who _could_ hear?

“You told him you’re in love with Carol and of the two, that one is definitely a lie!”

“I never told him I love her!” He paused and shook his head. “I’m not calling him up and apologising till he calls and apologises for coming over to talk shit about her.”

There was a frustrated growl from the other end of the phone. “You’re both _idiots_.” And with that, she hung up.

 

* * *

 

Tony smiled widely at the sight welcoming him when he entered the common floor of the Tower. On the couch, in front of the TV playing _High School Musical II_ , sat Steve and Bucky, faces mashed together as their hands ran over the other’s body.

Quietly, he walked back the way he’d come, deciding to get leave the two of them to their own devices. He’d call Steve later at some point to congratulate him on finally making a move – or to get the details of _Bucky_ finally making a move. He’d definitely have to organise someone to send them flowers and a box of sex toys…

Entering Bruce’s lab, he quickly located the scientist, who sat in a corner on the couch reading a battered copy of Christopher Paolini’s _Inheritance_.

“Good book, great series,” he remarked, nodding to it. “I’ll forever feel betrayed till he makes good on his promise to write more in the universe.”

Bruce blinked up at him, seeming to come out of a daze. “Sorry, what?”

Tony waved a hand. “Not important. What _is_ important, is that I caught Steve and Barnes making out in the living room upstairs.”

Bruce’s eyes widened. “Holy shit. We gotta get the rest of the gang in here.”

“JARVIS, you heard the man.”

It only took Natasha and Clint a minute to reach the floor, with Thor on a video call, currently being in London.

“We need details, Stark!” he demanded, eyes twinkling. “And as I do not trust any of you to not skew the facts, the noble JARVIS must also provide evidence.”

“Everyone agree to those terms?” Tony asked, grinning at the impatient nods he received. “‘Kay, play it, J.”

The rest of them watched with unnerving attention as the video began. Steve was sat on the couch, a bowl of popcorn next to him.

“ _Buck, I’m starting without you if you don’t get your ass in here,”_ he called.

“ _Comin’, you drill sergeant,”_ Barnes muttered, walking in with two milkshakes in hand. “ _This the thanks I get for making you food?_ ”

“ _You’re the best, Buck.”_ Steve gave Bucky his biggest smile, complete with what they had all secretly dubbed his ‘heart eyes’. 

“ _Yeah, don’t you forget it, pal.”_ Barnes’ voice was fond, and he reached over and put his left arm around behind Steve, who leaned his head back onto it.

JARVIS skipped the video forward a little. They were now about halfway through the movie, with Zac Efron singing _Bet On It_ on the golf course.

“ _I don’t understand why Tony said we had to watch this,”_ Steve muttered, shovelling a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

_“This is great,”_ Barnes said in astonishment, staring at him. “ _They’re_ singing _and it’s part of the movie! And the villains aren’t even that bad! And that dude, the blonde brother, totally has a thing for the basketball player…I forget his name.”_

_“And you—you’re okay with that?”_ Steve asked tentatively. “ _No, like… ‘40’s mentality’?”_ He used his fingers for the quotation marks, and Tony had never felt prouder.

“ _Yeah, ‘course I am.”_ Barnes gave him a weird look. “ _You think I’ve never been with a guy before?”_

Steve was now fully facing his friend. _“You’ve been with men? You_ like _men?”_ There was something bright dawning in his face.

“ _I brought a kid home that time I had a job down in the docks! You_ caught us _with me on my knees and him_ half-naked! _What’d you_ think _we were doin’?_ ”

Steve flushed, running a hand over his hair. “ _You told me hurt his leg and you were checking it out!”_

Barnes stared at him in amazement, shaking his head slightly. “ _God, you’re really somethin’,”_ he murmured, before jumping forward and kissing Steve on the mouth. A hand went to the back of his head, holding it in place lightly.

Steve sat there for a moment, seemingly froze, before he leapt into action and reciprocated.

“ _And_ that’s enough of that!” Tony managed to get out, laughter bubbling in his lungs.

Clint cackled. “Oh, God, I can’t believe we aren’t allowed to talk about seeing that… Guys, I don’t think I can go for the rest of my life telling Rogers I don't know what I know.”

“The important thing is,” Natasha interrupted, “who won the wager?”

“I did, obviously,” Bruce said. “I bet that it’d be a calm environment and that Bucky would initiate it.”

“Ah, but I specified it would be during a movie, my friend!” Thor told him. “As mine is more accurate, I should be the winner.”

“You also said Steve would initiate, which didn’t happen; therefore I’m closer,” Bruce pointed out, crossing his arms.

“What about the rest of us?” Clint asked indignantly. “I remember saying Barnes would initiate.” 

“You also said it’d be after a life-or-death situation involving tentacles, during which Steve would sacrifice himself to save James, and after which they would declare their love for each other in the hospital with James sitting in the uncomfortable chair holding Steve’s hand between his,” Natasha quoted drily.

Tony whistled. “I’d almost forgotten how creepily detailed yours was.” He’d personally bet on Steve initiating, especially after the long pep talks he’d given him, and this just went to show that sometimes Captain America needed someone else to take the lead.

“Sir, I regret to interrupt, but there was an incident with the War Machine armour.”

And just like that, Tony’s whole world came crashing down around him. “What—what happened?” he demanded, racing over to the nearest monitor. “Is Rhodey okay? Where is he?”

He ran a hand over his face, willing himself to remain calm as JARVIS displayed the results on the screen. The others crowded around it behind him, but giving him space.

“It appears he had gone missing while in the armour a week ago—”

“ _What,”_ Tony’s voice thundered. “How did I not hear of this?”

“The incident was not reported officially until just now and it appears the armour was damaged. Master Rhodes was lost during a mission in a heavily forested area and found by a search and rescue team an hour previously.”

“Get me my fastest suit and plug in the coordinates,” Tony ordered, willing his voice to not break.

“Take as much time as you need. We’ll hold down the fort here,” Natasha told him. “Let us know about Rhodes.”

Tony gave her a single nod before the armour wrapped itself around him in what used to be a comforting embrace but now only reeked of failure.

 

* * *

 

Tony marched into the hospital, righteous fury smothering the worry he felt. _What if_ s plagued his mind, drowning him. _What if_ he and Rhodey hadn’t had that weird passive aggressive fight that led to him going back without a word to Tony? _What if_ he’d spoken with him at all in the last two months instead of running away from their argument like a coward?

_What if_ he’d called Rhodey a week ago, and known that he would be heading out on a mission? 

Rhodey usually let him know when he should expect him to be back by – it was one of the things he did to make the stress and worry easier on his family. But this time Tony hadn’t been in contact with his friend to receive that information, relying on JARVIS being in on the servers to update him.

And look where that got him. He’d have to work faster on the new War Machine armour he’d been designing, and make the communications better. Much better. Good enough that this never happened again. That there would at least be distress signals sent out, flares that released automatically under certain circumstances, a fucking batsignal that told him Rhodey was in trouble.

He got to Rhodey’s room in the hospital and froze in front of it. The blinds were open, and he could see his friend inside, lying on the bed looking impossibly small surrounded by all the sterile white of the room. Taking a shaky breath, he opened the door and walked in. 

Rhodey’s eyes were moving under the lids, fingers twitching slightly. His face had a couple of scratches, but apart from that, seemed perfectly fine, if a little thin. Then again, he did always return to them thinner than when they’d sent him off. Roberta had once joked to Tony that she was giving him the job of fattening him up, after Rhodey had relocated to live nearer the company, but Tony had taken that responsibility very seriously.

He stared at the motionless body for a little longer, drinking it in, before whirling around and grabbing at the chart. _Broken ribs leading to punctured lung, fractured wrist, mild concussion, mild dehydration_ were the main issues. Tony could live with that. More importantly, _Rhodey_ could live with that.

Right at the bottom of the list was a series of numbers that Tony frowned at. “JARVIS,” he said quietly, “look up this, will you?” He scanned the coded medical term, letting JARVIS do his job while he did his. If it was this far down, it couldn’t be life-threatening.

Letting out a breath in what felt like years, Tony planted himself in the chair beside the bed. After a moment, he gave in and slowly reached out to grasp his uninjured hand, rubbing his thumb over it.

He needed to start working on the armour again. It was itching under his skin, the urge to find something and fix it, but he couldn’t do that until Rhodey woke up and gave him a detailed account of what had gone wrong (and yes, he could just go and check the armour himself, but that would require leaving the room and he wasn’t quite willing to do that just yet.

Brushing his lips over Rhodey’s hand, he settled back in the chair and called Pepper and Happy. Maybe Rhodey would wake up before he decided whether he should call Roberta or not.

 

* * *

 

Rhodey woke to the strangest sensation of having his hand stroked. He could feel it rubbing back and forth over the back of his hand in a soothing, repetitive motion. The last person to hold his hand like this was probably his mother, after that one particular incident in his early twenties. Her being here now must mean his last mission went more sideways than he’d originally thought.

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was very familiar to him, from the number of times he’d been in a room with one – mostly for Tony, really. The number of times that man had gotten himself in one of these places… Especially after creating the suit. If Rhodey didn’t know how happy it made Tony feel, how fulfilled, he wouldn’t’ve been as accepting of Avenging as he was.

Trying to move was a pain in… everywhere. His legs were sore, to begin with, and there was a stabbing sensation in his midsection when he attempted to sit up. And his lungs felt like they were full of sand, giving him the constant feeling of not getting enough oxygen in. Clenching his eyes shut, he breathed in deeply, trying to will his body to cooperate.

“…still, you idiot.”

There came a voice from beside him, probably the one belonging to the hand on his, but that didn’t make sense. He frowned, still not opening his eyes. There was definitely something wrong in this scenario.

“Can you hear me?” asked the voice quietly. “Jim, can you hear me?” The second question was asked in a more desperate tone, worry tinging it, and the grip on his fingers tightened fractionally.

Rhodey forced his eyes open, the light momentarily blinding them to closing, but he was stubborn. He needed to look him in the face. 

“Hey,” Tony said softly, giving him a smile. “You’re awake.” He ran a hand over his face, but not the one holding Rhodey’s.

Rhodey blinked up at him in confusion. “What,” he tried to say, but found his throat was like sandpaper. He swallowed reflexively, wincing at the sensation. He hated this stage, but it would only go downhill from here.

Tony grimaced in sympathy. “Don’t try to talk just yet,” he said, still in that same calm voice he’d never used on Rhodey. “You’ve been out for a while.”

_How long_ , Rhodey tried to ask with his face. And thank god that Tony understood him as well as he did, even after all that had happened between them, because he said, “Seven, eight days?”

Rhodey wanted to groan. He _hated_ being out for so long. He hated the feeling of things around him moving on beyond his knowledge while he lay there asleep. “Why’re you here?” he rasped out.

A flash of indignant hurt washed over Tony’s face before he leaned back, hand slipping out of Rhodey’s. Rhodey found that he missed the warmth, the feeling of being held and comforted. “Just because things are weird between us doesn’t mean I won’t come when you’re down.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, suddenly standing up in one swift motion and turning his back to Rhodey to face the window covered with blinds. “Goddamnit, Rhodes, you were missing for a _week_.”

Rhodey stayed quiet, letting Tony talk.

“I—The suit obviously has issues, so I’m gonna be needing to upgrade it and you can help by staying in the Tower while you recuperate. I’ve already spoken to everyone I need to and everything’s organised so when you get the okay we’re leaving so I can _fix—”_ He ran a hand over his beard, cutting himself off. 

Rhodey hadn’t noticed until now – he had been a little busy making sense of what was happening around him – but he did now. Tony looked absolutely wrecked, with the wrinkled clothes he had on that looked like he’d been wearing them for days on end, the mess of facial hair on his face that no longer resembled his trademark goatee, the paleness of his face and the look in his eyes.

“Can’t I just go sleep in my own bed?” he grumbled good-naturedly, letting himself fall back into one of their oldest banters.

Tony took in a deep breath, and then whirled back around to face him. “Mine’s comfier,” he said, with what sounded like relief in his voice. And then his face froze for a millisecond. “Your bed at my place, I mean. Not that mine’s any worse, because, you know, it’s my bed.”

Rhodey would’ve raised an eyebrow, but his face was feeling tired again. “After the number of times you’ve slept on a work bench, you’d think you’d stop judging my perfectly nice bed at my place.”

Tony said something in response, but Rhodey wasn’t paying attention. His eyes slipped shut and he gave in to the urge to go back to the darkness. The last thing he felt was a hand take his again.

 

* * *

 

It was _awkward_ having Rhodey in the Tower, and Tony had no idea why. In all the years he’d known him, he could safely say that awkwardness had never been a factor in their relationship.

But it’d been a day and Tony had no idea why there was a gap in their relationship—no, that was a lie. He knew exactly why there was something wrong, and it had everything to do with the fact that Rhodey now seemed to be in a semi-serious relationship when Tony had never even met the girl, and he had the Hanahaki Disease. The two facts didn’t align, and Tony had no idea how to bring either of them up.

He’d expected her to come to the hospital to see Rhodey at some point, dreading the encounter, because what was he supposed to say to her? Should he tell her that her boyfriend was pining after someone else? His brain-to-mouth filter was usually alright, but not when he was worried, and especially not when he was worried about the life of a loved one. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d accidentally snapped at a nurse in the previous week alone, he had no idea what he’d do if Rhodey’s girlfriend had shown up, _especially_ not with this knowledge. Especially not when it put her in the same boat as he was in, not being enough for Rhodey.

But she’d never appeared, and a quick inquiry as to her whereabouts showed she was on some ultra-confidential mission that Tony couldn’t be bothered probing around to check out.

“Sir, I must enable Protocol 23 now,” said JARVIS in what Tony chose to hear as sympathetic rather than smug tone. “Shutting down in three…two…one…”

And with that, the entire workshop went dark. Like every other time this happened, Tony cursed loudly and extensively. But he’d promised Pepper, and he liked to keep promises when he could.

So he made his way upstairs, empty coffee mug in hand – it was his favourite, and he liked it to be available for him at all times and not just stuck in the workshop when he wasn’t allowed there for fifteen hours – and half dreading running into his friend.

Rhodey whinged about recovery, like everyone Tony knew, but in a less subtle way. It was like he thought that if he were quiet enough, people would forget that he was injured and fall back into a normal routine. This wouldn’t usually be a problem, but now there were silences between them that were…weird, and Tony knew he had to talk to Rhodey. Tonight, maybe.

As he entered his pent-suite, he could hear voices coming from the living room. Maybe it was Pepper, who’d been popping in and out at random times. None of the others had a habit of coming onto his floor when he wasn’t there, and there was no more Steve visiting late at night for sex.

Tony went in through the kitchen, depositing his mug in the dishwasher before heading to the voices. But he stopped right outside the door; the second one was masculine and deep, nothing like Pepper.

“…middle of the night, we’re all dead on our feet, but there’s this loud ass _clang_ and the filthiest cussing you’ve ever heard, and we all wake up and Dum Dum’s got his pistol ready an’ everything, and…” The voice broke off into a fit of laughter before sobering to finish the story. “We turn on the light, ‘cause it’s dark as hell and you can’t see for shit, and there’s Steve standin’ there with the shield lying on the floor. Turns out he’d stepped in it in the middle of the night and it’d whacked him in the shins like a pitchfork…” The sentence trailed off with wheezing sounds.

Rhodey was chuckling too. “Oh man, don’t make me laugh,” he said, hissing slightly. “That’s exactly like this time we were…”

Tony had stopped listening at this point. He chewed on his lip, wondering when exactly Bucky Barnes had become such good friends with Rhodey. He should walk in, right now, make sure his best friend wasn’t getting stolen…

“James!” he called, acting surprised as he strode into the room. “Didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Thought I’d keep Rhodes company,” Bucky said, smiling at him. “Can’t be fun, stuck here for weeks.”

Tony refrained from the urge to snap at him that _Rhodey isn’t stuck here_ and _he likes it_. This place was practically a second home for Rhodey; it’d’ve been far lonelier being in his apartment this whole time.

“We would’ve gone to Bucky’s place but I told him I had dinner going here anyway,” Rhodey said to Tony. 

Tony’s brain stopped computing after the word ‘Bucky’. Since when was Rhodey on nickname terms with James? “Since when do you two know each other?” he asked, wincing immediately and hoping it didn’t come across as petulant. “And where’s this dinner?”

“Leftovers in the fridge, and we got acquainted with each other after that party you guys had last time I was here.” Rhodey was leaning back against the couch, looking more relaxed than he had the entire time he’d been here. Maybe James being here was a good thing, even if the thought that he hadn’t been able to do the same left Tony with a bitter taste in his mouth.

Was Bucky the person? Tony's mind shied away from the idea instantly, but it lined up with every piece of information he had. 

But the sound of Rhodey’s cooking was enough to momentarily put that thought to the back of his mind. “I’ll be…” He made a vague hand gesture, already heading back towards the kitchen to heat up food. His stomach was by far stronger than his mind at this point, and Rhodey’s cooking – which he’d cultivated during his college years and tested on Tony – had always filled him with a special sense of home.

“James gone?” Tony asked with a frown when he made his way back to the living room with the plate he’d just heated up.

“Yeah, it’s getting late.” Rhodey stretched his fingers out in front of him with a wince, yawning.

Tony blinked. “What’s the time,” he asked, mouth full.

Wrinkling his nose at him, Rhodey said, “Bit past midnight.”

“Oh.”

There was another little gap where neither of them spoke and Tony concentrated on shovelling food in his mouth. “Have I told you how much I love your cooking?”

“Yes, but keep complimenting me and I may cook more.”

Tony frowned. “You know you’re supposed to be—”

“ _Yes_ , Tony, _I know_ ,” Rhodey snapped. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Sorry, I’m just sick of being cooped up for so long.”

“Dude, it’s been like two days.”

“Yeah, and I watched five soap operas today. I now know what the Kardashians are doing with their lives.”

Tony hesitated. “You could come down to the lab in the morning.” he said. The _like you used to_ went unsaid, but they both heard it.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Rhodey started.

Tony interrupted him. “No, I was being a dick that night; it’s not your fault.”

Rhodey looked at him. “Well, if you admit to being a dick—”

“Hey, jackass, so were you!”

“Yeah, I was.” Rhodey looked down at his lap. “Can we go back to normal? This is weird.”

Tony gave him a tentative smile, relief coursing through his veins. And then, impulsively, he put his plate down on the coffee table and shuffled over before gingerly wrapping his arms around his friend, who snorted in his ear before reciprocating the hug. “I missed you too, honeybear.” 

“And Tony?”

“Yeah?” Tony didn’t want to continue with this conversation, too content on just resting his head on Rhodey’s shoulder and feeling his iron hard arms around him, the sensation of his world being right again. 

“The Carol thing?”

And there it was. He tried not to tense up, but Rhodey could probably feel it anyway. “Yeah?”

“It was a friend date. Ask Pepper why she called it that.”

And suddenly, there was… _more_ rightness. It was like he’d been given a second chance to have this, to have something he didn’t even entirely comprehend because he’d known Rhodey for so long that it was like a limb suddenly looking different in the sun. But how could he do what he wanted to do this soon after they’d just started making up?

He knew he should bring up the fact that there were _flower plants_ building in Rhodey’s _lungs_ , but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He’d snoop around and see the chances of it being Barnes, then talk to Rhodey about it soon. It wasn’t as though he’d be going anywhere anytime soon – there were laws against working while having the disease, particularly after it got into the second stage.

“Rogers is dating Barnes.” Okay, maybe his mouth had other ideas.

Rhodey breathed out, shifting slightly in his grip, but Tony didn’t want to let go (or see his face). “Yeah, he told me. I’m sorry.”

Tony frowned in confusion; this wasn't the turn in conversation he'd expected. “For what?”

Rhodey tried to shrug. “You and him had a thing?”

“No. No, I knew he liked James when I started the whole thing, and it was completely no-strings-attached.”

“Huh. Didn’t peg him for a casual sex kind o’ guy.”

“Honestly, he keeps surprising me. He was watching _My Little Pony_ last night and I had to expose him to Bronies so he wouldn’t turn into one.”

Maybe Rhodey was just really good at hiding his real feelings? There was no getting involved with Barnes now that he and Steve were a thing - they had the sappy-couple spiel down pat, leaving no room for a third person in their relationship. He may have to be there for the eventual heartbreak, especially if Rhodey's condition worsened. Tony tried not to think of the implications of it hitting the second stage, meant that the crush had moved beyond that to actual love.

 

* * *

 

“You free right now? 

“Yeah, just got a couple of things I need to read over from R&D. What’s up, koala bear?”

“Flying practise?”

“Now?”

“It’s why I asked.”

“I’ll be there in however long it takes me to get wherever you are.”

 

* * *

 

“Sir, you have five missed calls from Master Rhodes.”

“Wow, really? Call—" 

A sharp rap at the glass door behind him. “Tony, you busy? Steve and Thor are gonna arm wrestle.”

“Shit, remind me later. This I gotta see. JARVIS, record everything. I don’t want to miss a moment.”

 

* * *

 

“Come downstairs to the common floor,” Tony urged him, drying his hair with a towel. “The team has this post mission slash battle ritual where we hang there for the entire night till someone falls asleep, and then we ditch ‘em. Natasha’s never lost and we keep trying so hard to get her to conk out but she just doesn’t fall asleep. It’s insane.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird with me being there?” Rhodey asked slowly. He liked the Avengers, but it always felt like there was that line between him and them.

“Nah, you fought with us. And they like you. That’s all you need for a ticket in.” Tony looked at him with the pleading eyes that he’d been using on Rhodey since before he’d had the ability to grow decent facial hair, and somehow, it still worked. “C’mon, Rhodes. It’ll be fun.”

Against his better judgement, Rhodey gave in – was there ever any doubt that he would, when it was Tony asking? – and he followed his friend onto the floor that served as the ‘common room’ for the team. He hadn’t spent much time there, for obvious reasons, and still had no idea just how extravagant Tony had made it. 

Last time there’d been a ball pit.

Thor was holding a glass of some sort of purple liquid in his hand, as if to toast, while Clint stood opposite him. As they watched, Thor threw the glass into the air, tilted his head back with his mouth open, and somehow managed to down the entire liquid that showered onto him while another hand went up to catch the glass before it could hit him in the face.

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. “This is what y’all do to chill after a battle?” 

“Not all of us have superhuman reflexes,” Tony said, gazing at the duo with a glint in his eyes that said he very much wanted to try this out.

“Movies or board games?” Natasha asked from beside them, appearing suddenly.

At Rhodey’s startled glance, she repeated, “We’re having a vote. Movies or board games?" 

“Board games,” he said. He was still on an adrenaline high from the fight; sitting down for a movie would be impossible.

Natasha gave him a nod, turning to Tony, who said, “Whatever he said,” with a nod to Rhodey.

Natasha snorted, shaking her head. “We need another betting pool,” she muttered as she walked over to where Sam and Bucky stood.

Five hours and three broken glasses later, they sat around the overly stuffed couches in the centre of the room, boxes of board games on the table in the middle. They were dwindling down now, crashing as the adrenaline ran out of their bodies.

“Truth or dare!” Sam shouted.

“The fuck, Wilson?” Bucky said, looking over at him. Rhodey, if he had to label it, would consider their relationship to be somewhat akin to that between Reed and Tony. Only with two Tonys.

“Hey, man,” Sam said, raising his arms, “it’s a perfectly good game to play. I’ve played it bef—”

“What, when you were fifteen?” Tony asked incredulously.

“Hey, don’t diss Truth or Dare,” Rhodey spoke up. “You played it when _you_ were fifteen.”

“That’s different – that was _college_ Truth or Dare. It had _class_.”

Rhodey snorted so hard he thought he ruptured a blood vessel. “Oh yeah, it’s so classy sneaking into the teacher’s office and pissing under their desk.”

Clint let out a laugh. “You got dared to do that and you call it classy?”

Tony waved a hand. “Better than being dared to reveal your crush.” 

Bruce made a face. “That's true. My first date in high school happened because she felt bad for me crushing on her.” 

“See?” Tony threw an arm out, gesturing at Bruce and almost hitting Thor in the face. “Class!”

“Okay, fine, we’ll play it,” Natasha said. Rhodey had no idea how Natasha had ended up with the position of leader during these things, but he had to admit she was efficient at keeping things under control. Particularly when he’d started seeing a sheen of jade start to crawl up Bruce’s neck during one match of Monopoly.

“I’ll start,” Sam said cheerfully. “Thor, truth or dare?”

“Dare, my friend,” Thor said amusedly. He’d been watching the proceedings with curiosity, playing with Mjolnir’s handle.

“I dare you to do that throw-y drink thing again with three.”

“Is that the best you can do?” With that, Thor stalked up to the counter and filled three shot glasses halfway. Rhodey careened his head to the side to see, not willing to get up. And then his whole body froze when Tony used his shoulder to push himself up slightly, breath tickling his ear and sending a shiver down his throat. He swallowed hard, willing his body to hold it together.

Thor arranged the shot glasses in one hand and threw them in the air. By some miracle, all three flew up and turned at the same time, and Thor completed his mission without spilling a single drop. That being said, it didn’t mean he didn’t break a single glass, because two made their way into his hands and the third the floor.

There was a spectacular crash as the shot glass hit the tiles, fragments shooting everywhere, followed by silence as everyone gazed at the pieces on the floor, unwilling to do anything about them.

“…does that count as three glasses?” Steve finally asked, turning to Sam.

Sam shrugged. “Technically.”

“So, uh, whose job is it to clean that up before someone steps on it?”

“Thor’s.”

And on it went. Rhodey, after a few rounds, opted out, choosing to nurse a warm cup of tea and watch the rest of the group play. He could see Tony battling the weariness of the fight, listing towards the headrest, but then coming back up every round.

And he could see the bond these people had, the bond _Tony_ had with them, the sort of connection that was forged under the heat of stressful situations and risky decisions. They were a family, here, and he’d never felt more like an outsider in his friend’s life. Because it was entirely evident now that Tony didn’t need him anymore, not like he’d needed him in college or after his parents’ deaths or Afghanistan or even after the Avengers had first formed and he’d called Rhodey up regularly late at night, spilling all his worries to him.

"Hey, Tony?" he said quietly to his friend. They were watching as Bucky attempted to climb onto Steve's feet while Steve balanced in a handstand in the centre of the room, away from furniture. Bucky was being given a boost up by Clint, who it turned out had done his fair share of gymnastics during his time in the circus.

"Yeah, sweetcakes?" Tony murmured back, leaning forward in his seat to watch.

"I think I'm gonna head up now, okay? I'm dead on my feet." Rhodey distantly winced as he watched Bucky attempt to make up for Steve teetering on his hands, face bright red as the blood rushed to his head, and stand with feet on Steve's feet. They stood in that position for half a second, before one of Steve's legs wobbled in just the wrong way, and Bucky leapt off him with all the grace of the Winter Soldier.

Tony turned his head to Rhodey sharply before turning it back to the situation at hand just as fast. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just tired."

Steve crumbled into a heap, and lay there on his back, face slowly loosing its redness as he gasped slightly. Bucky walked over to him, laughing as he held out a hand to help him up.

Tony let out a whoop, jumping to his feet. Rhodey didn't hear what he said to the super soldiers; he was too busy finding a quick but discrete route to the nearest bathroom to hack up the petals that had suddenly decided to reappear.

 

* * *

 

“ _Why does he keep doing this?”_ Tony seethed over the phone, furiously hammering whatever he could find. At this point he had no idea what his hands were even making, but they seemed to have some sort of guidance from a subconscious area of his brain, so he let them take out his frustration on the hunk of twisted metal. 

“Dunno, boss.” Happy looked at the camera, and then back to whatever he was doing. “Haven’t spoken to Rhodes in a while, actually.”

“Yeah, _neither have I_.”

Happy shrugged. “Give him space, maybe.”

“I can’t do that! What if there’s something wrong?” He _still_ wasn’t one hundred percent sure who the object of Rhodey’s Hanahaki Disease was, and it was eating away at him.

“Then he would’ve told you what was wrong.” Happy looked away from the camera again, squinting into the distance.

Tony frowned. “Where even are you?” When Happy failed to reply, still distracted, he added, “Yo, Hap, what’re you up to?”

“Spying on Pepper,” Happy whispered. “She just got the bouquet I ordered for her. I’m seeing her reaction.”

It took a second for Tony to process that two of his closest friends may start dating at any given point in the future. “Oh my god,” he said faintly. “Dude!”

“Shush!”

“How come you never told me you like Pepper?”

“What part of ‘spying’ did you not—”

“I totally could’ve helped you out because I know everything she—”

“So do I, boss! You got me to deliver flowers and takeout and jewellery to her the whole time!”

“…fair point. You’re probably pretty well equipped to handle this on your own.”

And now Happy looked contrite. “It’s not like that! I just…we woo in different way, y’know?”

“I never needed to hear you refer to my skills as ‘wooing’.” 

“Oh, Rhodes just showed up—want me to spy on him, too?” 

“Wha—yes! Get me visual!”

Happy, now much better at working with the camera, flipped it around so Tony could see Rhodey’s tall figure entire Pepper’s office. He walked over to the desk, kissing her on the cheek. 

“What’re they talking about?” he hissed.

“What? Didn’t catch that.”

“What’re they talking about?”

“Uh…he’s going to his parents’ place…they’re talking about you…something something…unimportant—”

“ _Don’t decide what’s unimportant!”_

“Oh, so you _want_ to hear about how great the view is from her new office?”

“Keep listening!”

Happy muttered under his breath before resuming. “They mentioned your name…missed the whole context so I have no idea what that’s about…something about War Machine…Pepper’s meeting up with Carol and she’s inviting him along…they’re saying goodbye now—shit, I gotta go, he’s coming this—”

And with that, Happy hung up. Tony sighed, plans already formatting to ‘accidentally’ run into Rhodey at some point before he headed down to Philadelphia. He hated this avoiding that Rhodey seemed to be doing, because they were supposed to be okay now. They were supposed to be back to normal.

Pepper’s voice floated through his head, saying _talk to him_ , but in the end he decided he would rather hide something of Rhodey’s to have an excuse to go toPhiladelphia and give it back.

 

* * *

 

Rhodey had no idea what to expect when it was Tony who happened to be on the other side of the door. He held it open, inviting his friend in – his mother loved Tony, and would make Rhodey live in the garden shed for a week if she found he hadn’t made him come inside immediately.

Tony walked in, toeing off his shoes and nudging them to one side in a neat line. It was strange having him in Rhodey’s childhood home; no matter how many times Tony visited, there was always that look about him that loudly screamed _am I still welcome here_ that Rhodey had long accepted would probably always be there. Besides, it only lasted for the first few hours.

But that didn’t mean that his mother had given up.

“Mum! Guess who’s here!” Rhodey called, walking in. He’d talk with Tony over the _why_ later, when he’d actually processed the fact that he was _here_.

“Jimmy, what did I tell you about inviting the neighbour’s dog to dinner—Tony!” Tony’s look of amused questioning at Rhodey disappeared under a massive hug by Roberta, smothering his face into her shoulder as she dragged him down to her height.

He reciprocated immediately, sinking into it. “Hi, Roberta. It’s been a while.”

Roberta pulled away, holding him at arm’s length. “And whose fault is that, pumpkin?” she said, whacking him with an umbrella she had picked up from the umbrella stand beside her. “You don’t visit, you don’t call…what am I supposed to think?”

Tony looked down guiltily. “I know…it’s just been…”

“Busy,” Roberta finished for him with a sympathetic smile. “I know you got a lot on your plate. But I better see you on my doorstep this Christmas, young man.”

“I’ll be here,” Tony promised, eyes wrinkling as he smiled at her.

Rhodey had always found the relationship between his mother and his best friend to be interesting. Tony treated her like some fragile thing, joking freely but with an undercurrent of wistfulness, while Roberta considered Tony one of her children.

“Now, come inside—you’re staying with Jimmy because the guest room has Lila in it…”

“Lila’s here?” Tony asked, brightening. He adored Rhodey’s niece. 

“Yeah, they came over when they heard I was here,” Rhodey said, speaking up for the first time.

“Damn, she must be in high school already,” Tony mused.

“Kids grow fast when you aren’t there to watch it happen,” Jeannette said, materialising from behind him. It appeared that everyone in Rhodey’s family had mastered the art of soft footing except him.

Tony whirled around, massive grin on his face. “Jeannie!” He grabbed her in a hug. “I know…I’m sorry…I did send presents to make up for it…”

Jeannette glared at him. “You know damn well we’d’ve been happier with you there. And I was talking to Jim too. He’s missed just as many birthdays as you have.”

Rhodey rubbed the back of his neck. He knew Jeannette was joking, but it was definitely a downside of his career. “C’mon, you must be hungry,” he said to Tony, drawing the small group to the kitchen. “We can fend off Jeannie with a full stomach.”

Jeannette snorted. “I’ll go wake up Lila.”

Tony glanced at the clock. “It’s like four in the afternoon.”

Rhodey waved a hand expressively. “She’s a teenager. She’s been taking naps in the middle of the day the entire time she’s been here to ‘catch up on sleep’.” He did the air quotes, feeling strangely relaxed in his childhood home with his best friend. Time was becoming unfixed as he watched Tony rifle through the cupboards in search of the tea he knew Roberta always kept, melting into the past as his mind supplied him with images of younger Tonys doing the same.

He could see a fifteen-year-old Tony sitting quietly on a barstool, watching Rhodey and Jeannette and Roberta interact with wide, uncertain eyes. It’d taken him a while to become comfortable enough to talk to them without being prompted, but by the time the end of the break, he’d been his usual boisterous self.

Tony visiting for the weekend before Rhodey’s first deployment, all anxious hands and chewed lips, much like the rest of his family had been. He’d been furiously clingy that time, aggressively supporting his career choices during the day while quietly giving him thousands of ways out in the dark. That had been the year he and Jeannette had bonded enough to prank Rhodey every visit after.

Then there was the Tony that had come with him after his parents’ death, quiet and still like he’d never been before. Roberta had sat with him on the couch for so many nights, her knitting while he curled up beside her, never weeping. Rhodey had had no idea what to do except stick to him like glue.

And the time Rhodey’s father had passed away, when he’d opened the door expecting more neighbours who were _sorry for your loss_ and with their endless boxes of food that just meant that Roberta couldn’t use cooking to distract herself, and had come face to face with a Tony who he hadn’t seen since the Starks’ funeral. He’d hugged him, tight, before pulling him into the house.

Countless versions of Tony Starks and James Rhodeses flooded his vision, and he stopped and stood there for a moment, part of him wishing he could go back to the easy summers of the eighties, when they were as open to each other as they possibly could’ve been. Hell, one of those summers, Rhodey had come out to his parents as bisexual, with an anxious Tony peeking in from behind the door with a curious Jeannette next to him.

Rhodey knew it was silly – Tony loved his family – but there was a niggling question in the back of his mind that kept poking its way to the surface no matter how deep he tried to bury it, regardless of how many times he’d tossed it in his mental garbage can. _Was he replaceable?_ Because the Avengers were a family. They’d even called himself that jokingly on occasion, with Steve being dubbed as ‘Dad’ while Tony was ‘Mum’, in spite of Barnes’ very obvious relationship with Steve. Tony didn’t need Roberta like he had—

“You okay?”

And Rhodey jolted to the present, where they were still on rocky ground for no discernible reason. Tony was giving him a look that was growing concerned the longer it took him to answer, head tilted to the side questioningly like a cat might.

“Yeah.” Rhodey shook himself off subconsciously. “Just thinking.”

“You were doing a real good impression of Internet Explorer.”

"Fuck you. That was low."

And with that, the ice broke and they fell back into their easy friendship like it’d never gone, like dunking themselves into an ice hole while all around them was white.

 

* * *

 

“UNCLE TONY!”

What felt like an octopus attached itself to him, clinging with both hands and feet and refusing to let go even as Tony stumbled back a few steps in surprise before planting a foot behind him to ground the two of them. 

“Argh! How’s my favourite Rhodes?” He swung Lila around, gripping onto her as hard as she held onto him. Watching someone grow from a foetus to a teenager carved them a special place in your heart. “You’re getting too heavy to do this, kiddo.”

“You’re _Iron Man_ , you’ll be fine. You’ve got a spine of steel.” She giggled in his ear before finally releasing him.

Tony groaned theatrically. “When I said the suit and I are one, I didn’t mean it like that.” And then he took her in.

Lila Rhodes had become almost as tall as him – but being fourteen, she probably still had some growing to do, he surmised – and her hair was a halo around her face. She’d lost all the baby fat he’d last seen her with, and—

“ _Did you get your nose pierced?”_ Had Tony arrived in the middle of her emo phase? He didn’t know how to deal with that.

Lila looked at him in confusion for a moment before glancing cross eyed at her nose. Her eyes lit in realisation. “Oh! No, this is a fake nose-ring. See?” With that, she deftly removed it and held it out in front of him before putting it back. “It’s fun without the pain or commitment.” 

Tony felt slightly fainthearted in a way that had nothing to do with his heart conditions. “I thought I was supposed to be the cool uncle who showed you all the stuff your mum didn’t let you do!” he whined.

Lila laughed. “Don’t worry, you’d never be the cool uncle anyway. You’re too dorky.” At Tony’s affronted expression, she hastily added, “In a good way! Who else is gonna get me a toolset for my birthday?”

“You build anything cool?” Tony asked, settling on the couch and giving her his full attention. Nothing compared to listening to kids talk about their interests.

 

* * *

 

The only times in his life that Tony probably maintained a decent sleep routine was when he was at the Rhodes’ house. He’d always been bunked with Rhodey – they always had people over – and the rare occasions that he’d been allocated the guest room, Tony had somehow managed to fall asleep in his friend’s room after a late night spent together. 

This time was no exception.

“Move _over_ , you’re hogging the bed,” Rhodey grumbled from beside him, kneeing Tony in the gut as he wriggled closer. “Jesus, how’re your fingers so cold…” 

“It’s to do with iron in the blood, cupcake, which I lack somewhat. What is it with you Rhodeses and expecting me to be a literal iron man. You’re so _warm…_ ”

“No, no…no!” The last ‘no’ was a shriek as Tony shoved his icy fingers under his friend’s back, partly for the heat but mostly to listen to his screech of horror. “I’m calling Mum.”

Tony laughed aloud. “She would actually kill you for waking her up and not being an accommodating host.” 

“Since she considers you family, are you really a guest,” Rhodey muttered darkly, settling back.

There was a moment of silence, both of them lying there listening to the crickets outside as the occasional snore sounded through the thin walls. Tony had always felt a strange sense of safety here, under the covers next to Rhodey. It was one of those places that seemed removed from the rest of the world and from his line of work (both of them), from all the panic and fear and death that followed his life. He supposed it was what a childhood home was supposed to feel like, and he felt a surge of gratitude well up in him at the idea that he had this, that Rhodey had shared this with him.

“Why’d you leave so suddenly?” he asked in a hushed voice, afraid to be too loud in the tranquillity of the night. “You’re making a habit of leaving shitty voicemails that we get a day after you’re already gone.”

Rhodey shifted next to him. The two of them were lying on their backs, Rhodey facing the ceiling while Tony looked out the window. “I just—I don’t spend much time with Mum, y’know, especially since Dad... And…” He shook his head. “It’s stupid.”

Tony frowned, and then broke all the unspoken rules they’d had about late-night confessions to turn away from the window, propping himself up on an elbow and gazing down at his friend. Rhodey had a nightlight of Captain America’s shield from when he was a kid and had never gotten rid of it. Its light let Tony see the faint expressions on his face now as he peered at him, arc reactor hidden by clothing.

“It’s not stupid if it’s bothering you,” he countered evenly, using the argument he’d heard a thousand times. Would he finally learn who it was?

Rhodey shook his head, hands coming up to rub at his face, elbows in the air. “No, it really, really is.”

Tony settled in for the long haul, hand pillowing his head as he lowered himself beside his friend again. “Then you’ll have no issue telling me.” When the silence became prolonged, he sighed. “Look, you don’t have to spill. But I’m not gonna judge you. I lost that right after you witnessed the thing in ’98, and the thing in the physics staffroom that really hot year…” 

Rhodey snorted, face still hidden and voice somewhat muffled. “Yeah, you’ve pulled a lotta stupid shit, haven’t you?”

“Hey, most of the ideas at MIT were _yours_ , you walnut,” Tony said indignantly. “I was the innocent child you corrupted!”

Rhodey let out a real laugh now. “The media would go nuts for that story. They’d probably use my mum as their source.” He sobered then and removed his hands, staring hard at the cracks in the ceiling where the paint had chipped away. 

“It’s _really_ cold down here, what the fuck,” Tony muttered, turning around in the bed and taking all the covers with him. Rhodey hung on to them as well as he could, grimacing at the chilly breeze that hit his skin. “I swear it didn’t used to be this cold when we visited during Christmas.” 

His arm shot out to the bright red spinny chair and grabbed the hoodie that hung on the back, putting in on under the covers and almost elbowing Rhodey in the face.

“You don’t need me anymore, y’know?” It spilt out of Rhodey like a leaky pipe, quietly echoing as it dripped. He didn’t move; nothing signified the shift in tension in the room. “You’ve got the Avengers now and they’re awesome and y’all’re _family_ and…I’m not saying you became friends with me to use me or stupid shit like that, but…it’s like school all over – it’s easier to keep up with people who you can relate to after you leave. Maybe we’re finally at the part where we realise we can’t keep up with each other’s lives anymore. Maybe you should cut me out now while things are still okay, before they start going downhill.” He shrugged, eyes fixed upwards and hoping his voice didn’t sound as pathetically sad as he thought it did.

Tony had stilled, and Rhodey didn’t dare to breathe. Finally, he said, in an incredulous tone, “ _What?_ ”, sitting up.

Rhodey kept speaking as though he’d never been interrupted. “And you got people who you can keep up with you better than I ever could—hell, you got _five_ people who can keep up with five different parts of you—and I know what it’s like being part of a tight knit team like that. You don’t have as much time for other bits of your life. And I get that, okay? You’re doing important shit, y’know, and you deserve to have people who know you and’ll protect you and…and _understands_ you in ways that I never did. It makes sense you gotta leave behind some stuff to move on to the better – _newer_ – parts of your life. I just miss you, y’know? It’ll take a while to get used to.”

Tony looked absolutely shell-shocked. He stared at Rhodey for a moment, mouth slightly open. “Rhodey, there’s nothing to miss. I’m right here.” 

_No, you aren’t._ It’d been months of missed phone calls and being too busy with either the team or S.I. And now that he’d brought it to Tony’s attention, it would be the beginning of the end, him finally realising it was too much work to keep up any semblance of a close friendship, the promise Tony made to Roberta about staying over for Christmas apologised away with another Christmas card and over-extravagant gift. 

“Since when do we go with what’s easy or the norm? It wasn’t easy to keep up with each other in college, with our timetables and workload and your job,” he waved his hand around, becoming increasingly worked up, “but we managed, even without armours that can break the sound barrier.

“I know the Avengers are family, and I know I’m busier now and I don’t mind it – don’t interrupt me, did I interrupt you? – but they’re not _you_. You’re—” He waved a hand around Rhodey’s face, apparently intending to mean something that Rhodey was entirely oblivious to. “You’re not boring, or mundane, or something that can be thrown out to make way for new shit that’s in fashion, and it kinda stings that you’d think I’d do that after all this time.”

And now Rhodey had to interrupt. “I get it, you don’t have to—” he began, voice hoarse from trying to speak past the lump in his throat.

“No, no you don’t!” Tony shouted, the immediately quietening. They lay there in silence for a moment, hoping no one had woken up. “No, you don’t get it,” he said in a softer voice. “Not if you’re still questioning this after _three decades_. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Rhodey stilled, heart beating in his ears.

“You – your whole family – are the reason I’m who I am today. The better parts, anyway. You became my friend for no fucking reason, and honestly, who does that? Who looks at some kid four years younger than them – and don’t tell me the age thing wasn’t a big deal because it’s a big fucking deal when you’re in school – and says to themselves, _that’s the one I wanna talk to._

“The Avengers aren’t the ones who taught me the concept of family. That’s all on you guys here, and then Happy and Pepper too. Because _that’s_ who my family is, first and foremost. And that doesn’t diminish the team in any way. _”_

He let out a breath, staring at Rhodey with a look in his eyes just daring his friend to disagree, but Rhodey couldn’t, for the life of him, think of what to say. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I told you it was stupid.” 

Tony lay back down, mimicking Rhodey’s position. “Sometimes you need a reminder,” he said, quoting Rhodey.

“I don’t want out, by the way,” Rhodey added, because it would be just like Tony to think this was his subtle way of wanting to break their friendship. “Everything you said? Same for me. All the way.” 

Tony nodded. “People have multiple families,” he murmured. “It’s how they keep from interbreeding.”

Rhodey smiled slightly, grateful for the reprieve from the intense emotions. “You planning on ‘breeding’ with any of the Avengers?” he asked drily, but with a note of seriousness. They both frowned when a noise came from the other side of the wall of what sounded like a frustrated groan, followed by a hard object being slammed onto a surface.

“Nope,” Tony said, popping the ‘p’. He yawned, moving back to his half of the bed. All evidence of their conversation was starting to get wiped away, but the words would stay with Rhodey.

“Hey, is that my hoodie?” he asked suspiciously. “Every time you come over, I lose clothes.”

Tony shrugged. “You live at my place as much as you live here or your apartment – you could always come look for anything you claim I’ve stolen.”

Maybe now they would finally go back to how they used to be, Rhodey thought furtively, hope uncurling in his chest. He’d keep that, hold onto it with everything he had, because he hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Tony ‘same’.

Maybe this time the flowers would die before they had a chance to grow fully in his chest.

 

* * *

 

They’d never closed the curtains on the window when they finally fell asleep huddled together, each acting as a human furnace for the other even though Tony’s body had gotten even worse at retaining warmth after the arc reactor. So when dawn arrived, the sun shone directly into their eyes, waking Tony from some of the deepest sleep he’d gotten in a long time. 

He’d always slept best when he had someone else in his bed, whether it was a one-night stand or a friend.

Squinting into the bright light, he huffed out a grumpy breath, reaching under the bed for the baseball bat he hoped Rhodey still kept there. His whole body shivered at the cold, and Rhodey shuffled behind him. 

Fingers grasping at the freezing handle, he pulled it out and waved it in the direction of the window, one eye opening to give him the blurriest image of where he was aiming. Light blinded him, eyes beginning to water.

The baseball bat was at least a metre short. 

Crawling forward, he leaned closer, torso out in the open. One hand tugged the spinny chair closer, bracing himself on it and probably looking like something out of _The Lion King_ as he tried to use the bat to close the curtains that last inch without getting out of bed.

Just as he’d gotten to it, the door flew open and Tony jumped out of his skin, bat clanging against the curtain rod and chair rolling forward so it suddenly became a scramble to maintain balance between the chair and bed with his body stretched out like a bridge in between.

“Dude,” said a voice from the doorway. “Why?” 

Tony peered around from his precarious position to see Jeannette standing there with a bucket in her hand. The two of them looked at each other for a moment, Tony eyeing her with suspicion as he answered, “The sun’s fucking bright,” in a hiss.

“Just get out of bed before you break something, you fool!” she hissed back, hands moving enough to slosh the water in the bucket.

Tony narrowed his eyes. “What were you gonna do to us?” he asked slowly, withdrawing at a snail’s pace back to safety. He wriggled his bottom half to roll the chair back, having to turn back his head and completely missing Jeannette whipping out her phone to begin recording.

“There was a leak,” she said smoothly. “Mum asked me to put buckets around the place.”

“It didn’t rain last night,” Tony responded.

“Yes it did.”

“I was _awake_ for most of the night – I think I’d know.”

“You obviously fell asleep at some point,” she pointed out, leaning against the doorframe.

Tony did the universal gesture for _I’ve got my eyes on you_ while burrowing back under the covers, the combined warmth of his and Rhodey’s bodies making him drowsy. “There aren’t any leaks here, so you can tell—”

“Can’t a man sleep in his own bed in peace?” came a growl from beside him, and the two of them looked to see Rhodey’s eyes glaring out under the sheets.

“It’s the sun’s fault,” Tony told him, earning himself the full weight of Rhodey’s scowl as it turned to him, “but if I hadn’t gotten up to close the blinds, Jeannie would’ve killed us with whatever she was gonna do.” He gestured towards the door.

Rhodey’s glower deepened, something Tony hadn’t previously thought possible. He’d forgotten how much Rhodey valued his sleep. “Tony, there’s no one there.” 

And he’d forgotten how conniving Jeannette could be. “I shit you not, she was there. I can probably prove it…”

But Rhodey had already fallen back asleep, so there was no point. Stifling a yawn, he turned back around and curled up in a ball, soaking in as much warmth as he could.

 

* * *

 

Tony tried as best as he could to juggle Rhodey and the team and S.I., which wasn’t exactly difficult. He would cancel everything he had whenever Rhodey was visiting (or, as much as he could) and War Machine started popping up in New York more frequently to help out the Avengers, or for ‘upgrades’. They were never going to be short of excuses for visiting.

And on the rare occasions he did have to cancel, he piled on the apologies so high that Rhodey looked at him in amusement rather than disappointment.

So things were getting back to normal, somewhat. It just felt to Tony like that first year of college after he’d met Rhodey, where everything had been bright and new and tense and fragile, where he’d been stepping on eggshells around the other boy, so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Tony had probably spent more time those semesters working out a list of things to never do or say around his friend than he did for his actual classes. 

(One of those items had been ‘kissing’, which had been originally put there because he’d assumed Rhodey was straight, but after he’d spontaneously come out to his parents – as a show of solidarity after Tony had been outed by the media – it’d stayed there more so because he liked what they were to each other and pursuing more would just wreck the purity of it all.)

But there were times, even now, when the two of them would be out late, and a part of Tony’s mind would just crave company for the night. But with Rhodey there it felt too much like cheating – and where had that thought even come from? – so he never picked up strangers when Rhodey was in town. 

Not that he picked up many strangers anyway.

“I’ve been hearing wild rumours from Clint that you and Bucky and Rogers are sleeping together,” Rhodey said over a cup of coffee one morning, about a month after Christmas.

Something inside him squirmed uncomfortably, but Tony gave Rhodey a wide smirk. “All true.”

Rhodey, after all this time, had learnt to roll with everything he found out during their coffee dates. Outings. Their coffee outings. He merely raised an eyebrow, silently asking for more detail, before his face was hidden with the coffee mug.

Tony shrugged. “One night they both cornered me in the kitchen and propositioned me for a no strings attached deal. Like I had with Steve. I said yes, I regret nothing – have you ever had super soldier sex? It is divine.”

“Yes.”

“Yes to what, bubblegum?”

“Super soldier sex.”

Tony choked on his mouthful. “ _What?_ When? Why wasn’t I told about this?” He squinted at Rhodey. “There are things you don’t _tell_ me?”

This time it was Rhodey who shrugged. “It was a while ago, before they got together. Bucky was lonely, I was lonely, and the opportunity just presented itself. And you never asked.” He leaned back, appearing to be enjoying Tony’s bewilderment far more than he should be.

Tony gaped for a moment, before finally saying, “You could always come to me when you’re lonely, sugarplum,” accompanied by a flirtatious wink. His heart was going a mile a minute. 

Rhodey flinched slightly, something passing over his face that was gone in a blink. He covered it up by taking another long swallow, and Tony’s stomach plummeted. Flirting had always been a large part of their relationship, but this was the first time he’d tried it since… everything, and it was definitely either too soon or something that was no longer acceptable. There had been an invisible line drawn ever since the whole Carol Steve thing had happened, and it hadn’t been erased.

“What happened to no interbreeding with the Avengers, anyway?” Rhodey said, avoiding acknowledging the line entirely as he stifled a cough in the crook of his elbow.

Tony shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for sleeping with dudes who literally bounce back a half hour later,” he said.

Rhodey opened his mouth to reply but was struck by a coughing fit so intense he curled inward, hacking into a fist. Tony frowned in concern, moving out of his seat to grab one of the jugs of water the restaurant kept on the side. He poured out a glass for Rhodey, concern increasing tenfold when he saw the handkerchief Rhodey had out.

Today, he vowed. He’d confront Rhodey about it today, after this. They’d go for their walk in the park, and it’d be somewhat private, and he’d ask him then. He’d tell him that he’d seen the report and what it said and that _Rhodey could die_ if it progressed beyond a certain point— 

“Thanks,” Rhodey said hoarsely, swallowing a mouthful of water. “Must’ve choked on something.”

Tony’s mouth thinned at the flimsy excuse. “Careful how you swallow, platypus,” he said, before wincing inwardly at the unintentional innuendo.

Rhodey let out a few more barking coughs, looking more resigned than anything, before getting up. “C’mon, we’re done with brunch anyway. Let’s walk through the park back to the Tower.”

He didn’t know why he didn’t say anything as they left bills on the table and walked out, Rhodey lifting his face into the sun. Tony couldn’t quite leave behind the shadow that had plagued him since that day at the hospital, and now it seemed that something was holding him back from bringing it up with Rhodey.

 

* * *

 

So he didn’t talk to Rhodey.

He went to Pepper, dragging Happy there with him because sometimes he needed two very different perspectives, and this was a matter of _life and death_ , so patient confidentiality didn’t matter. He wasn’t a doctor, anyway.

“We have a situation,” Tony announced the moment the door had shut, leaving the three of them in Pepper’s office. It was late, meaning that most of the building was empty now, and the lights were dimmed. 

Happy and Pepper stayed quiet as he gazed out the window to the city below. Cars moved and people walked and life went on down there, but here and now, Tony was going to bring up something that was the exact opposite.

“That time Rhodey was missing for a week?” Nods from Happy, a tilt of the head from Pepper. “I read through his medical report. He—” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face. “It said he has the Hanahaki disease.”

Pepper’s hand went to her mouth, eyes widening.

“But—” Happy frowned. “That was months ago. He’s still got it?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, pretty sure. Saw him cough into a handkerchief yesterday.”

“Why’re you telling us now?” Pepper asked. “You’ve known for a while.”

“I don’t know. I need to…I need to talk to Rhodey about it, but I _can’t_ ,” Tony ground out. “I’ve known for over a month and he’s _still_ hiding it for some stupid reason – god knows how long he’s had it for – and you know what keeps bugging me? _Who is it?_ Who’s he mooning over so bad he’s developed the fucking disease? _”_

Happy snorted. “It’s pretty obvious, boss.” 

“No, he already said it isn’t Carol.” Tony leaned against the wall, arms crossed, as Happy gave him an incredulous look. “And can one of you bring it up with him? Seeing how my tongue doesn’t cooperate with me when I try to?”

Pepper shook her head, walking over to stand directly in front of him and placing her hands on his upper arms. “No, because you will.” 

“Pepper, I’m booking you a doctor’s appointment, because I don’t think you heard me the _multiple times I said I can’t_ —” 

“Why can’t you?” she interrupted, breaking into his tirade effortlessly.

“What?”

“He’s been your best friend for almost your whole life. You would do anything for him, including knocking sense into his head so he takes the surgery. So ask yourself, what is it that’s holding you back from talking to him about it?” Pepper looked at him intently. “Are you afraid of who it is? Is that it?”

“I…” Tony’s mind whirred at her words. “I need to go.”

Pepper released him without comment, only saying, “Think about it, Tony,” as he left.

 

* * *

 

“You got the M&M’s?” Rhodey hollered, shuffling through a list of movies on his phone. He smirked when he heard the footsteps falter, a muffled curse sounding as they retreated.

Maybe they should have another Star Wars marathon…but they’d done that the night before. Maybe a rom-com…but no, they saved those for when Happy was watching with them – he was a sucker for rom-coms. Tony was antsy tonight, so nothing too deep. Rhodey didn’t want anything serious. 

So an action comedy.

“What’re we watching?” Tony asked, walking in with two bowls in his hands. He held the bright blue one out to Rhodey with a roll of his eyes. “You’re a fucking weirdo, you know that? Who doesn’t like popcorn…”

“Hey, more for you, dumbass. And we’re going for an action comedy.” Rhodey delicately picked out a green M&M and popped it into his mouth. 

“J, pick out the weirdest action comedy.” Tony sat down next to him, unfolding a blanket.

“ _Shaolin Soccer_ now playing, sir,” JARVIS replied.

Rhodey didn’t particularly care what they watched – it was more the company that he enjoyed, really; Tony could make anything worth his time. He settled back, legs folded under him and half-heartedly swatting Tony’s wandering fingers away from his bowl from time to time.

By the time they were halfway through the movie, they were in stitches.

“Holy shit,” Tony crowed, eyes wide. “This movie does not conform to the laws of anything, let alone physics.”

Watching that childlike glee fill up Tony’s face was like seeing the sun rise on Rhodey’s world, to put it in the most cliché terms. Rhodey’s chest warmed even as his lungs tightened, and he froze. He couldn’t cough them up here, not with Tony this close to him.

But the urge to cough the petals up was too strong for him to deny, and he quickly excused himself to go to the bathroom. Intent on leaving before he gave himself away, he missed the look Tony gave his retreating back. Trying to appear normal, he walked until he was out of Tony’s eyesight before letting loose a fit of coughs. His hands came up to cup around his mouth, catching every petal that came out. By the time he’d stumbled into the bathroom, they were spilling out.

“Master Rhodes, do you require any assistance?” JARVIS asked.

Rhodey shook his head, unable to speak. He hacked what felt like both of his lungs and intestinal system out into the toilet bowl, hands braced on either side. Blood from the petals had splattered his fingers, and now there were bloody handprints on the rim.

This was a bad one. None of the others before had been like this. He’d thought he was getting better. There had been no petals yesterday.

But every time he’d looked over at the seat beside him, every time he’d poked Tony in the side with his elbow for hoarding the red green M&M’s, every time Tony had thrown his head back with laughter… It had just built up in his chest the whole night, and come out in a bloody shower.

“Rhodey?” came a voice from outside. “Can I come in?”

Rhodey breathed in to let out a sigh – JARVIS must’ve said something he hadn’t heard – but then his lungs acted against his will and there was an impossible tickle at the back of his throat. He let out a few short coughs, trying to keep the petals in until he could get Tony to go away.

“I’m fine, Tones,” he said in what was hopefully his normal voice. “I’ll be out in a—” His voice broke off with a wheeze, scratchy and wrecked.

He should’ve coughed out the petals before. He should’ve gone to see if there was any medication for his symptoms that didn’t work like the surgery did. He should’ve ran the water in the sink to hide the sound of his coughs.

He should’ve never fallen in love with his best friend.

“I’m coming in,” Tony said in a tight voice.

Rhodey couldn’t manage a reply. He was folded into himself with the force, rasping breaths entering his lungs whenever he was given a reprieve. He heard a muttered curse from behind him as strong arms held him up straight, a hand rubbing circles into his back. Rhodey kept his eyes shut tight; there was no point in seeing reality when it was what it was: a heap of bloody petals inside a toilet bowl and the hands of his unrequited love holding him up. The irony of it would make Rhodey smile at the very least under ordinary circumstances; now it only served to make his chest hurt more.

After an unknown amount of time, Rhodey’s body finally decided to give him a break. He took in a tentative breath, finally able to fill his lungs properly. Rhodey leaned forward, resting his forehead on his arm across the rim of the toilet. 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. “Here. Drink this.” Lifting his head, he looked into Tony’s eyes, seeing the unconcealed concern there as he held out a glass of water.

“Thanks,” he rasped. His throat felt hot and shredded, and the water was bliss going down.

“Don’t mention it. Now c’mon. Let’s get you somewhere comfier. And more sanitary.” The toilet flushed as Rhodey stood and followed Tony out, and he knew that by morning there’d be no trace of his presence ever being there.

Instead of heading back into the living room like Rhodey had expected, Tony led them into Rhodey’s room. “We’re gonna have a sleepover,” he announced. “I don’t want you choking in the middle of the night. And it’s been a while since we’ve done each other’s nails.”

He moved around the room, grabbing armfuls of pillows out of the linen closet and dumping them on the bed – unsurprisingly, Tony was a picky sleeper when he chose to be, and actually enjoyed being smothered by pillows in his sleep.

Rhodey didn’t say a word while Tony buzzed around fixing the room. He stood leaning against the wall, taking the occasional sip from the glass and wondering how he was going to get through the night without dying.

“…and I’m going to order soup, maybe broth—” Tony whirled around. “Why are you still standing there?” 

Rhodey blinked, having been lost in a weary fog of thought.

“I told you to sit your ass down _minutes ago_ —god, Jim.” Tony strutted over to him, and with hands on his shoulders, gently walked him backwards until his knees hit the couch, pushing him downwards. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay? Don’t…” He waved his hand in a gesture he probably hoped Rhodey would interpret as he wished before leaving the room.

 

* * *

 

“JARVIS, what stage is he in?”

“From records of the illness, sir, it appears he is in the second phase of the disease.”

“Yeah, I thought so too.” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the weight of the past hour bearing down on him. “You ordered food?” 

“It will arrive in seven minutes, sir.”

“Thanks.”

“Sir, might I suggest honey to ease the Colonel’s throat?”

Tony’s head jerked up. “Yes. Yes, I’ll do that. Anything else?”

 

* * *

 

Rhodey knew he should move, but a tiredness had taken hold of him and didn’t seem like it’d be letting go anytime soon. He stared at the glass in his hands, distantly observing the way the carpet looked through it. 

Tony knew.

Tony would have questions.

Tony would figure it out, and then he’d try to convince Rhodey to give surgery a try – his way of letting him down gently.

Tony wouldn’t want Rhodey to throw his life away on something like this.

And Rhodey knew that there was a chance, albeit small one at that, that he’d do it, that he’d take it if it meant he'd live a bit longer. Because Tony felt the guilt of the entire world, and Rhodey wasn’t about to add to that. He knew Tony would feel that this was his fault, and Rhodey had to convince him otherwise in the time he had left.

Surgery meant he would no longer be capable of feeling that sort of all-encompassing love for Tony (or anyone – studies weren’t too clear). Rhodey didn’t think he could give this up.

Because that was what comments sections below articles on Hanahaki disease failed to say, time and time again. There were stories shared about loved ones succumbing, comments by people who thought they were being _different_ and _edgy_ by denouncing love and thereby being their own vaccine against Hanahaki, ads for medical clinics and treatments. But nowhere did anyone say how it felt like to love someone so much it almost killed you. Rhodey would never let this feeling go, because loving Tony made his life unique and precious and it was _his_.

No one had the right to ask him to give that up, not even Tony himself.

 

* * *

 

Tony had somehow managed to keep quiet all night, mothering Rhodey with a style that he’d very obviously adopted from Roberta. It made Rhodey want to snort, but the first time he’d done so, the pounding in his head had gotten worse.

They’d packed away the leftovers in silence hours ago, working around each other with a synchronisation they’d built over the years. They’d come a long way from bumping elbows and spilling coffee in their dorm at four in the morning, Rhodey thought with a pang. He half waited for the nostalgia to trigger the a fit, but thankfully, none came.

The TV was on, filling up the background with soft sound as they stared at it. Tony had claimed the side of Rhodey's bed nearer the windows, placing Rhodey near the bathroom even though he’d brought a bucket to place next to the bed. All in all, he’d been the perfect friend, and Rhodey didn’t know if it was because of the flowers or the tiredness, but he could feel himself becoming teary the more he focused on it.

“You’re a good friend, you know that?” he said, eyes forward.

He saw in his peripheral vision Tony freezing up ever so slightly. “Anything for you, butternut.”

But he wouldn’t let Tony brush this off. “No, really,” he said, straightening up. “You got all this thrust onto you and within seconds you ignore the fact that—”

“I knew,” Tony said quietly.

“I—what?” Rhodey turned to look at him.

Tony didn’t do the same, keeping his eyes trained on the screen. “I looked through your medical report that time you went missing, remember? It had it listed right at the bottom, this…this _gaggle_ of numbers and letters. I didn’t think it was much, maybe a flag for shit like early arthritis or hair loss,” he let out a humourless laugh, a hand running through his own, “but I got JARVIS to run the code – it’s weird, you know, that they don’t just have it written – and I knew before you woke up.”

Rhodey didn’t know what to say. “And you never brought it up?”

“I didn’t know how to,” Tony said. He finally turned his head to look at Rhodey. “A lot of people get a case that doesn’t go beyond the first stage, apparently. It’s not like TV dramas where it’s super rare." 

“You thought it’d just go away.” Rhodey let out a laugh that bordered on hysterical. _If only_.

“I don’t even know who it is!” Tony snapped. “All I know is that my best friend suddenly starts to cough up fucking flower petals and decides to not tell me for _months_.”

“You know,” Rhodey said, staring past Tony and out the window, seeming to not have heard his outburst. It looked like it might’ve been raining, but Rhodey could never tell at this time of night without the sound of raindrops hitting a roof. “This isn’t my first case of it.”

Tony stilled. “What?" 

“That one break during MIT, where I had to cancel our plans?” Tony nodded, eyes slightly shell-shocked, but Rhodey didn’t seem to be pausing for him. “It got to the second stage that time, and Mum wouldn’t let me out of the house, even though it has nothing to do with environment. It’s very subjective, really. Each individual case is unique. It’s why there are so few solid facts known about it beyond the surgery. Not even the meds work for everyone.

“My first symptoms started during class…" Rhodey hesitated for the first time, and Tony’s gaze bore holes into him, but he didn’t say a word. “After that first huge fight we had.”

He didn’t have to ask if Tony remembered it or not – he knew he did. It was one of those catastrophic events that had changed the course of their friendship – for the better, in Rhodey’s opinion. Brutal but necessary because everything that had led them to this bed right here and now was necessary, even if a lot of it hadn’t been very pretty.

“Mum was so sure I was pining after some girl and I was using you to cover it up.” Rhodey shook his head, regretting it instantly as it kickstarted his headache once more. “She said she’d never heard of a case of it being friendship based. I think even back then…” He trailed off, rueful smile on his face.

Tony frowned, obviously knowing there was a lot that Rhodey wasn’t telling him, and maybe something he was supposed to pick up on through the cracks. But he didn’t interrupt.

“Anyway, the point is, I got over it then, and I’ll get over it now. _Without_ surgery,” he finished, emphasising his last point.

Tony cleared his throat before he began talking. “You realise that if you get anywhere near the third stage, you’re done, right? That’s it, there’s no come-back from that unless you manage it before you get yourself into a coughing fit, because your oesophagus will _literally rip itself open!_ Is this person worth that?”

“Yes,” Rhodey said instantly. “He is.”

Tony’s face didn’t show surprise if he was, but Rhodey knew that his mind would be running at full speed, narrowing down the list of potential suspects. “Does he know?” he asked, something indecipherable in his voice.

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Probably not. There’s no point, is there?”

Tony took in an unsteady breath. “Is it Barnes?”

“Wha— _Bucky?”_ Rhodey let out a laugh before he could stop himself. “No. No, it isn’t him.”

Tony jerked his head in a nod, eyes darting over Rhodey’s face. “You can tell me, you know. I won’t go about spilling it.” 

And didn’t it say a lot about Tony’s opinion of himself in Rhodey’s life that he didn’t even seem to consider himself in the running?

Or maybe it was because he only thought of Rhodey as a brother. Maybe he was deliberately taking himself out of the running, trying to make Rhodey take a hint. 

Rhodey shook his head. “You’d only feel guilty if I told you. You can’t make someone love me back, Tony.”

Tony didn’t reply, but his face said _watch me_ , just like it had the entire time Rhodey had known him, and somehow that made up for the rising guilt in his stomach.

 

* * *

 

Needless to say, Tony didn’t sleep that night. Thoughts of Rhodey, and the fact that he’d really gone overboard with the pillows and blankets and was now sweltering, kept him up. His mind couldn’t stop whirring.

All these years, and he’d never known that this was Rhodey’s second case. All these years, and Rhodey’s first case had been because of _him_.

Tony didn’t know what to think.

Finally, when he could see the sun peeking out from amongst the clouds on the horizon, he sighed and flung the covers off himself. About five pillows fell to the ground as he got out of bed.

The chances of reoccurrences were almost unheard of. There was no way. _Especially_ with the same person, because once you got the Hanahaki second stage, you either got together with your someone, or you died. He’d never heard of someone ‘getting over’ it. 

But the thought of Rhodey pining this badly over some other man made Tony’s stomach twist. This whole time, he’d never once considered Rhodey in a serious relationship because he’d never been in one. Was it because of Tony? Did he cut himself off from pursuing romantic relationships because of that one experience?

The coffee maker had already begun brewing by the time Tony walked into the kitchen, feet bare against the cold floor. Even though Rhodey had said it was a friendship thing, there had been no recorded cases of the Hanahaki disease being for anything but romantic feelings.

The coffee maker beeped, and he jumped a mile in the air.

He had to talk to someone. He was going to go crazy like this.

“JARVIS, tell me when Rhodey wakes up, okay?”

“Of course, sir.”

With that, he made his way down the elevator with fingers wrapped around a coffee mug. He was shivering slightly by the time the doors opened, and he refrained from the urge to press the mug to his chest, knowing that it would spill on the arc reactor, and it was a _bitch_ to clean of coffee stains.

“Tony?” Steve greeted, stifling a yawn. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, fine. Everything’s fine.” Tony gulped down the last of the coffee in one breath as he walked inside, heading straight to the kitchen sink to deposit his mug. He’d come back for it later, eventually. (Most likely Steve would bring it up for him.) “Sorry, did I wake you?”

Steve stood there in a thin T-shirt and sleep pants, hair tousled slightly. “No, I get up for my run now.”

“Freak,” Tony muttered, and Steve smiled.

“You want breakfast?” he asked, rooting through the cupboards and bringing out packets of muesli.

“I’ll have,” he eyed Steve’s spread, “not what you’re having.”

“Suit yourself.” Steve hoisted himself up onto the counter. With his legs swinging like this, he looked impossibly young and lively. Nothing at all like the man who Tony had known for the past few years. Bucky was good for him.

“God, I’m old.” Tony hadn’t even meant to say it, but it spilled out anyway.

Steve frowned. “No you’re not—”

“Not like that,” Tony sighed. “Like in a God-I’ve-wasted-my-whole-life sorta way. I mean, what have I even done that’s worth retelling? I may be the mastermind behind the leading technology right now, but I’ve known Rhodey for thirty years and I haven’t once told him that I'm in love him.”

“So tell him now. Quit wastin’ more time.” Steve was shovelling food into his mouth, but his gaze was focused on Tony. 

“It’s not that simple.” Tony shook his head. “There are…” he hesitated, “complications.”

“Uncomplicate them,” Steve said simply.

Tony stared. “Wow. You write all your inspirational speeches like this?”

Steve flashed a brilliant grin at him. “What I mean is, you’re here telling me all this when Rhodes is _in your home right this fucking moment_. Why the hell aren’t you saying all this to him? If you’ve been a coward for thirty years, then face up to it now. Better being out in the open than living a lie for the rest o’ your life.”

“And what if this kills our friendship,” Tony asked flatly. “What if this ruins everything?” 

“If you’ve stuck by each other for this long, then I doubt something like this will ‘kill’ your friendship,” Steve told him. “You realise Bucky and I were in the exact same boat, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony waved a hand, “but you two are like, the epitome of love. He broke through seven decades of brainwashing for you. Of course it worked out.” 

“That’s my point. It wasn’t easy, and when I finally got him back, all I wanted to do was hold onto what I had rather than go grasping at something I thought I could have. I never would’ve done anything – I have him to thank for that. If it hadn’t been for Bucky taking the leap for the both of us, we’d still be stuck walking on eggshells ‘round each other.” Steve pinned Tony with his clear blue gaze. “So are you going to let Rhodes take the jump, or are you gonna go up there and tell him how you feel?”

Tony hummed. “You’re good at this, Cap. Can I have you on comms while I talk to him, so you can give me pep talks every time I chicken out?” He was only half joking.

Steve gave him a fond look. “You’re not a coward, Tony. I believe in you.” He twisted around to place his empty bowl in the sink. “Also, there’s a pool riding on this and I really want to beat Natasha.”

Tony threw a banana at him.

 

* * *

 

Contrary to popular belief, Tony Stark wasn’t all that bad at emotions (unlike Reed Richards). He may get distracted by other things, but once he’d recognised an issue – a _human_ issue – he didn’t take detours in fixing said problem. Most of the time.

After he’d left Steve’s floor, there was no hesitation in his stride as he walked through the doors of his own. He was in one of those determined mindsets that would’ve resulted in doors being flung open as he entered, doorstops being the only reason they didn’t put a doorknob-shaped hole in the wall, but thankfully, all the entrances in the Tower had automatic doors unless specifically requested otherwise.

He almost ran to Rhodey’s room, but stopped just short of entering. He couldn’t go in empty handed and just _confess his love_. He had to… 

Prepare breakfast.

A gesture to show the sincerity behind his intentions. He’d learnt that much from his previous relationships – and watching soap operas late at night with Bruce. (There were just some things you’d never know about your peers until you were alone with them on a sleepless night watching reruns of _Days of Our Lives_.)

He was in the process of making blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes when Rhodey walked in, stifling a yawn. He gave Tony a curious look, unused to the sight of his friend being awake at this hour.

“Morning,” he said hoarsely.

Tony immediately indicated to the coffee pot. “Morning, bumblebee. I got hot coffee, or hot milk, or hot water, or hot anything liquid, really. And then there’s pancakes, but if you want we can do waffles – I haven’t really committed to it yet – or if you don’t want anything solid—”

“Tony,” Rhodey broke in with a soft glance. “Pancakes are good.”

Tony shut his mouth with an audible sound, nodding before turning back to the stove. “Okay, then.”

“As long as they’re—”

“—chocolate and blueberry,” Tony finished with a smile. “Good to know you’re consistent with your choices.” 

Rhodey shrugged. “When you discover bliss in food form as a young’un, you stick with it.” And then he dissolved into a coughing fit, bent over at the waist with the force of it.

Tony hurriedly filled up a glass with water, bringing it over as he stood next to his friend, hand hovering hesitantly over his hunched figure before rubbing circles in his back. He was grimly coming to the realisation of the extent to which Rhodey had hid his symptoms from him, from the frequent coughs to the weariness that seemed to dog his every move; he no longer tried to seem lively and awake.

Rhodey took a grateful sip of the water, looking into the hand that was pressed up against his chest to hold in all the—

Tony’s heart skipped a beat as he took in the amount of blood coating the flowers. Because they were no longer simply petals. They were whole flowers, crumpled in Rhodey’s hand.

He was going to be sick.

Rhodey looked at them expressionlessly, which somehow made the whole situation worse, and walked to the bathroom to get rid of them and wash the blood  _that he'd coughed up_  off his hands.

Tony couldn’t take much more of this. He needed to get his feelings out into the open before it was too late, because if _he_ was the cause of Rhodey _dying_ , he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. And if he wasn’t, then he’d get Rhodey to tell him anyway. Rhodey fucking owed him for making him spill his feelings like this, Tony thought, desperation hidden underneath frustration.

Rhodey came back and settled back on the stool, taking small sips of water. “Want help with anything?” 

“Today’s all me, sugar…bear.” Tony cursed his brain for its attempt at a Freudian slip. He slid a plate in front of Rhodey, nudging the strawberry jam towards him. “Eat ‘em while they’re warm.”

Rhodey didn’t argue, cutting into the stack quietly.

Tony’s nerves were jittery by the time they’d finished, and the silence that had stained breakfast had done nothing to help them settle. Now that his secret was out, Rhodey had stopped putting up a fake energetic front, and it showed. 

Tony should’ve spent the night reading more journals.

“Can we talk?” he said, breaking the eerie quiet of the room.

“Sure,” Rhodey responded immediately, eyes searching.

Tony couldn’t have this conversation while they were seated in the living room like fully functioning adults. Instead, he launched straight into it. “I need to know who it is.” Okay, maybe not that direct. “Your person.”

Rhodey looked away with a sigh. “Tony, I told you. It doesn’t matter.”

“Is it me?” He could hear his own heartbeat, and it was a wonder Rhodey couldn’t. “Am I your person?”

Rhodey looked pained. “Tones, it’s okay. Like I said, you can’t make someone fall in love with me. That’s not how it works, and I don’t want you feeling guilty—”

“But I do!” Tony broke in. 

Rhodey paused, making eye contact with him for the first time since the conversation had begun. “You do what?”

“I—” Tony shook his head. “Look, I promise you, I’ll fix this. But I can’t do that unless I know who it is. Jim, just tell me.”

Rhodey’s hands rubbed his eyes, covering his face, as he shook his head hysterically. “You know what, fine. You asked for it. You don’t get to be guilty and do apologetic shit now, you hear me? Of fucking course it’s you. Who else did you think it’d be? 

The first case was you, and I told myself that time, I told myself, we were friends again – after we made up – and that I could live with that. And it turned out that the Hanahaki thought I could, too. I dug myself a hole of denial so goddamn deep I couldn’t even see myself out of it for _decades_ until now. It took me us drifting for me to see it again, because when I’m with you?” He shook his head again, looking Tony directly in the eyes. “When I’m with you, you’re all I can see.”

Tony stood there stock still, eyes wide and mouth parted slightly, disbelief coursing through his veins. There was a pregnant pause, the universe trying to give him time to digest Rhodey’s words, but time stood still for no man.

Rhodey’s shoulders were slumped and his face resigned as he looked away from Tony. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to tell me you feel the same, and you better not pretend just to ‘cure’ me. I’ve got time still and I don’t want to spend it with you walking on eggshells around me—” 

But Tony was shaking his head. “Rhodey. _Rhodey_!” 

Rhodey turned back, face a blank slate. 

“Look, I don’t know how to say this nearly as eloquently as you just did, but I…” Tony took in a breath and let it out. “I love you.”

There. He’d said it. 

“I know you do, Tones,” Rhodey’s voice was strained. “That makes this whole thing worth it, knowing I had you as a friend. You gotta know that.”

Tony frowned. “Wha—no, you idiot. I’m _in_ love with you. I don’t know how long, or when it started, but,” he shrugged with a helpless smile playing on his lips, “it is what it is.”

Rhodey was staring at him like he’d never seen him before. “No,” he muttered. “No, you can’t be.”

Tony let out a loud sigh. “Why not?”

“You would’ve done something. You liked Pepper—you were _in love_ with Pepper—and you got to work _immediately_.”

“Pepper’s not you,” Tony said simply.

And it was true. What he’d felt for Pepper had been just as real as what he felt for Rhodey, but there were different histories and different places that they each had in his life that made all the difference. He and Pepper weren’t made to be romantically involved; they knew that now. But he knew he’d always held himself back from initiating anything with Rhodey, from feeling anything beyond the realms of platonic for Rhodey, simply for one reason. 

“You’ve been with me for my whole life,” Tony told him. “For everything that matters. Every time I look behind me, you’re there at my back, and I know I can go on knowing you’ll always be there. And these last few months? I’ve known that, always, even when it felt like I didn’t. Even when we were in the rockiest parts, I could count on you. But after I blew it with—after Pepper and I went downhill, it shook us for a while. You remember. I…I couldn’t handle us being the same, because you’re,” he waved a hand gesturing at Rhodey’s person, “you. These last few months when we were fighting, or just plain _off_? They  _sucked_. Things not being right with us makes my whole life off-balance.” 

He stepped closer to Rhodey, encouraged when Rhodey didn’t move back. “And once I recognised it, it felt like I’d been in love with you since forever. I probably have, honestly. I promise,” he took another step, “that I’m not just saying this to fix you. Do you trust me?”

He stood directly in front of Rhodey. At this distance, any movement forward would result in them brushing against one another. Tony could count Rhodey’s eyelashes, and he could see the deer-in-the-headlights look in Rhodey’s eyes, the disbelief that danced in them as he searched Tony’s face, but answered without hesitation, “Of course." 

Tony kissed him.

Rhodey stood stock still for a moment, but Tony did nothing but touch his lips against Rhodey’s, leaving the rest of it up to him. And then Rhodey’s hand came up to rest so lightly against Tony’s cheek that he barely felt it, the tiniest of electric shocks tingling as the touch registered. Fire licked at Tony’s mouth where it met with Rhodey’s. One hand had come up without his knowing to grasp at Rhodey’s shirt, hand tangling in the fabric with a desperation he didn’t show with his lips.

Rhodey was the one who broke it off, gasping as he moved backwards like they’d just run a marathon together rather than initiate the barest of kisses. But Tony felt the same; his heart was pumping in a way that was slightly concerning – he’d probably die of a heart attack long before they got into the bedroom at this rate.

“I—” Rhodey’s voice was breathless. “Wow.” 

“That’s what they all say, sugar.” Finally, finally, _finally_. Finally he could leave the second half of the endearment off that would make it acceptable in their friendship.

“You’re serious?” Rhodey asked, half serious. “You’re serious about this?” He gestured between them. 

“Serious as a heart attack,” Tony said. Giddiness was coursing through his body. “Kiss me again and I may have one.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. “How is that incentive—”

He broke off with a hacking sound that Tony had hoped he’d never hear again.

“Rhodey?” he asked frantically, hands going to Rhodey’s shoulders as he lowered himself to his knees with the severity of the coughs. “Are there…there are more?”

Was it not enough? Was his declaration not enough—or too late? Or perhaps Rhodey didn’t quite believe it just yet—

“JARVIS, what’s happening?” he demanded in a tight voice. They were both crouched on the floor now, Rhodey’s chest practically touching his knees, one hand braced on the ground.

“I believe Master Rhodes is regurgitating the remnants of the plant out of his system,” JARVIS responded calmly. 

“Isn’t that the third stage?” Tony said, voice bordering on hysterical. Rhodey continued to cough, but nothing seemed to be emerging.

“Sir, I believe as Master Rhodes was further along into the second stage, his system is rejecting the plants as they no longer have the chemical makeup to survive in his lungs, hence needing to cough them out rather than simply disintegrating.”

Tony gave a sharp nod to indicate he’d understood, but that didn’t help as he watched his friend try to draw in enough breath. He’d never felt as helpless as he did now, knowing that nothing he could do would help Rhodey.

And then Rhodey’s back arched up, and something slimy and long emerged out of his mouth. At the very end of it was a clot of blood. Rhodey took in huge, gasping breaths, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. 

It was all Tony could do to not stab the plant that had almost claimed his friend. Instead, he pulled Rhodey up, taking most of his weight – Rhodey was pliant under Tony’s hands, making movements both easy and difficult. He moved them to the nearest couch, lowering Rhodey down gently and whispering he’d be right back.

Racing to the kitchen, he saw that JARVIS had heated up a kettle of water. He poured it into a cup, placing a peppermint teabag into it. Next, he went to the plant, picking it up gingerly and dumping it in the nearest bin. He couldn’t stand the sight of it, and Rhodey shouldn’t have to, either. Maybe he should light it on fire.

But the tea was done and he wanted nothing more to be next to Rhodey, so he left behind his arsonist ideals. There was only one place he needed to be right now, and it wasn’t watching that godforsaken leech burn. 

“Rhodey?” He knelt down in front of his friend, who was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, hands kneading at his throat. “Tea?”

“Thanks,” Rhodey rasped. “It feels like I sliced open my insides, but _damn_ , I’d forgotten how it felt to breathe properly.”

Tony gave a small smile, concern still plaguing him. He needed Rhodey to go see a proper doctor specialising in Hanahaki disease, just to make sure his insides _weren’t_ sliced open, and to check for any remains of it.

But for now, he settled next to Rhodey, sitting close enough that their thighs brushed. He didn’t know where the lines were, and he didn’t want to do anything that would make Rhodey feel uncomfortable while he was still recovering. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Nothing comedy,” Rhodey said. “I don’t think I can laugh without there being a shit-tonne of blood.”

Tony nodded, grabbing a blanket and spreading it over them. Rhodey brought his legs up, leaning against Tony’s side, which Tony took as invitation to do the same. Cocooned together, he tried to let the curl of anxiety in the pit of his stomach disappear, but he knew it’d remain until he got Rhodey to a doctor to ensure he’d be fine.

 

* * *

 

They didn’t let people in when it was a case of Hanahaki disease, no matter who it was. Tony thought it was a bullshit rule as he waited outside the doctor’s room, leg jiggling with nerves as he fiddled with his phone in an attempt to distract himself. 

He’d let Rhodey sleep for a bit, content to just rest there with him as JARVIS played movies, Rhodey's head resting on his shoulder in a position that was bound to be uncomfortable, but he didn't seem to want to be horizontal, which didn't help ease Tony's fears. And then when Rhodey had woken for lunch – broth, which he’d ordered – Tony had made him see a doctor.

Rhodey, who wasn’t as difficult as Tony was when it came to getting checked out, had been surprisingly stubborn this time.

“I’ve already gone through it once. It’s the same this time,” he’d complained, arms crossed against his chest. 

“Last time you defeated it by convincing yourself you weren’t in love. Trust me when I say that there’s nothing about these two situations that are the same,” Tony had countered. 

And then when Rhodey had still not given in, he’d taken his hands out of his pockets and given him a glimpse of the fear behind Tony’s eyes. “For me? Just so I know you aren’t going to keel over dead halfway through dinner.”

When Rhodey had hesitated, Tony knew he had him.

And now he couldn’t stop fidgeting. He couldn’t stand the waiting, not knowing what the verdict would be. Whether this had fucked up Rhodey’s entire life, or whether they’d get a future. 

A future together.

Something that Tony, even in his wildest dreams, had never imagined. This was a whole new field of fantasising, one that he’d steered clear of until now. But the floodgates had opened, and now desires poured in faster than the tide.

He wanted a one-year anniversary. A two-year, five-year, ten-year. An engagement. Maybe a long one, if Rhodey wanted to wait. They’d spent their whole lives together, so maybe it wouldn’t make much of a difference, but Tony wanted it anyway. A wedding. With Rhodey's family. Pepper and Happy there. The team. Rhodey’s squadron. A long honeymoon that was just about the—

The door opened and Rhodey walked out. Tony didn’t pause to see gauge his face before leaping out of his chair and dashing towards him.

“So?” he asked, eyes fixated on Rhodey. "What's the verdict?"

And Rhodey smiled. “I’m all good,” he said in a whisper. “Just not allowed to talk much for a week.”

Tony let out an incredulous laugh, his grin growing until it took over his face. “Thank god,” he breathed, before placing a hand at the back of Rhodey’s head and crashing their lips together.

If their first kiss had been all heat and fire, this one was the opposite. It had the same fierceness, but it was one that promised of many more to come, cool waves crashing over them as Rhodey deepened the kiss, hands coming to rest on Tony’s hips and moving with him.

Tony filed their joint future in the back of his mind.

 

They had time.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

DELETED SCENE

 

“What was so important y’all woke me at,” Clint glanced blearily at the clock, “five a.m?”

“Tony and Rhodey finally got together,” Natasha told him, ignoring Clint’s shriek of glee as she continued, “so now we get to see who won the pot.”

Five minutes later, and most people were gathered in the living room on the common floor. Of them, Sam Wilson and Steve were the only ones who looked moderately awake. Bruce sat slumped in a chair, hair a wild mop atop his head and Jane Foster standing behind him and leaning with her elbows on the backrest. Peter Parker was rummaging through the kitchen, and emerged holding a cereal box.

As the space filled with more and more people, Natasha glanced around to see the people she called her team, even if half of them didn’t fight beside her on the battlefield. 

Thor was sitting in a typical male sprawl, taking up as much space as possible in the centre of the three-seater, Clint perched on the armrest on one side with Phil Coulson standing beside him. Steve in the spot between Clint and Thor, and Bucky on Thor's other side. MJ perched on the coffee table, a cup complementary to the one in Peter’s hand in her own.

“JARVIS, call everyone we need to call. Tell them it’s urgent if they ignore it,” Steve said, moving to take up the remaining chair. 

“Calling Ms Potts, Mr Hogan, Ms Rhodes, and Mrs Parker,” JARVIS responded. Four holographic screens opened in front of the TV.

“You lot better have a reason for this.” Jeannette was the first one to respond. “I’m not a morning person.”

Clint snorted. “Runs in the family.”

“Tony and Rhodey got together,” Natasha said, giving Clint a look. 

A voice piped up from the background. “Wait, are you shitting me? They haven’t been together since MIT?” Lila Rhodes’ head popped up. “That explains _nothing_!”

“Big mood,” Steve muttered, leaning back against his seat.

“I love how Cap’s secretly a meme lord,” Peter whispered to MJ.

“Morning,” Pepper’s voice said drily as she smothered a yawn behind her fist. “If I hadn’t already been awake, I wouldn’t’ve answered.”

Jane raised an eyebrow. “And why were you awake? It’s a weekend.”

A blonde head popped up in the video frame beside Pepper, who turned to it. “Carol and I finally had our movie marathon,” she explained. “Happy’s conked out next to us, so if you hear a train engine, that’ll be him.”

“I hear you tried to skew the results,” Sam commented. “That should be against the rules.”

“We have no rules,” Thor said, a glint in his eyes. “It makes wagers all the more…interesting.” 

“You say that now, but wait till your—”

“Sorry, I just got off from work—what’s up, gang? Everything alright?” May Parker said. The camera showed her pouring water into a mug, bouncing a teabag in it. 

“Rhodey and Tony got together,” Natasha said. She really should’ve waited until everyone had gathered to avoid repeating herself so much, but she was honestly… _happy_. Excited, even. God knew how long she’d been watching Rhodey and Tony dance around each other, and some of these people had been there _even longer_ …

“Holy shit!”

Natasha nodded. “So, JARVIS, if you will.”

“Certainly, Ms Romanoff.”

When they’d first begun the betting, the team had collectively agreed that anything happening outside the bedroom and bathroom, regardless of whether it was a private conversation or not, could be used as evidence, unless specified otherwise by any of the parties involved. So JARVIS was free to show them footage of Tony and Rhodey’s epic showdown that involved a trip to the doctor’s. 

Clint whistled. “Damn.” 

“Oh fuck,” Steve said. “Are you shittin’ me? How’d I lose?!”

“You know,” MJ murmured, “if youda told me that Cap had such a potty mouth a year ago, I would’ve laughed in your face and made you sit and watch the PSA on appropriate language.”

“Question is, how’d _Clint_ win,” Bruce said, pushing his glasses up.

Clint shrugged smugly. “I am a spy, y’know.” 

“Even a broken clock is right twice a day,” Bucky said.

Clint flicked a piece of cereal stolen from Peter at him.

“Wait, what was his?” Carol asked.

JARVIS pulled out a document, which Natasha read out. “‘One of them will contract the Hanahaki disease because these idiots have been pining for so long that statistically speaking, it’s gonna happen, and then the other will have to give them the,” she snorted a laugh, “kiss of life, and they’ll spill their undying love for each other.’”

There was a moment’s silence. 

Then, Sam spoke. “I agree with the broken clock thing. ‘Cause there’s no way in hell you coulda known that without bein’ a psychic, and if you were a psychic, you’d’a gotten the other ones…less wrong.”

Clint shrugged. “I may have had some help. Of the psycho sort, though, not psychic.”

Bucky glowered at him. “Fuck you, Barton. You better give me my share.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is allowed?” Pepper called out. “And me using Carol to make them jealous isn’t?”

“Technically, we never said your manipulating wasn’t not allowed,” Natasha said slowly. “But collaborating should definitely be against the rules.” 

Steve tilted his head back. “This is how governments are made, kids. When people realise they need to close the loopholes.”

MJ frowned, but as she opened her mouth, Peter slammed a hand against it, a look of terror adorning his face. “Mr America, my hand is the only thing stopping MJ from ripping that statement into shreds.”

“You wish your hand were that powerful, Parker,” MJ told him.

“I still can’t believe I lost,” Pepper lamented.

“It’s because you underestimated just how emotionally constipated Rhodey is,” Carol told her, patting her shoulder consolingly.

Whatever Pepper said in response was drowned out by a chiming ringtone, and Bruce leapt up, hand going through his hair and knocking his glasses askew in the process. “Gotta take this, gang,” he said in a rush. “It’s Betty.”

And with that, he rushed out of the room. Just before the door closed behind him, they could hear the beginnings of a conversation. “…wasn’t sleeping. Of course, I’d be happy to…”

Natasha watched him go, a soft feeling in her chest. It was a strange sensation, this _happiness_.

Thor was also watching Bruce with a strange look on his face that Natasha had secretly dubbed the Loki look. “I sense another wager is upon us,” he said.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: if anyone's craving a tonyrhodey fic feel free to prompt me on [my tumblr](http://fanfictiongreenirises.tumblr.com/) i do p much anything that isnt smut lol
> 
> thanks for reading


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